Ahh... How many times I need to wish this for

How many times and how much I need to wish for the language fluency... I feel so stupid and dumb. I have no idea what they are talking about and I have no idea what should I do.

WE have been talking about Chicago 1968 and democratic national convention, which means I gotta catch up both history and politics... I didn't even study history and politics in japanese and how could I understand them so quickly??

I feel like it is too late to ask for help.. but if I don't do it and I will definitely regret it so I will ask for help. 

I always wish I could speak English as the other people do. I have plenty things that I have been missing and that is causing misunderstanding and lack of knowledge. 

Uh...all I can do is just keep going, keep pushing myself and do step by step.

Wish me luck please!