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Dear friends
Now I am writing to you because
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Even the same week, we were meeting constantly in our room.
Just 2,3days ago, he came to my room and spend, and he agreed to pass flower and decided to meet at UTokyo on next week because 3/18 is his graduation.
It was really special event from 2 years ago and I reserved flower bouquet and cleaning shop for celebration. (we often talked about his graduation and after plans in 2 years),
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Even though We talked and decided about his graduation ceremony at UTokyo in 【3/14】(and white day did.)
He got angry at me suddenly at 【3/16】in his room .
And Graduation Ceremony was 【3/18.】
He wrote sudden message to me on 【3/21】
And Jie Gan san came his room was 【3/24】
What is this constant schedule ???
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He got angry at me in his room 【3/16】was his plan ? ? ? ? ?
Because graduation ceremony will come 【3/18】？？？
And Because Jie Gan san will come 【3/24】 ？？？
Until he calls suddenly 【3/16】, We never had problem or quarrel even once,
and always he says “I like you Ayaka ” , “you are so beautiful “ , “I miss you” “I am happy with you” “can’t wait to see you again”, we celebrated our Anniversary by his idea and he watch me with his warm loving eyes for 2 years as always.
Of course I NEVER did any bad thing to him for 2 years .
We build just healthy relationship for 2 years.
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【3/16】、I was too sad and shock and cried a lot about that at home.
I couldn’t understand at all, why he suddenly got angry at me and did like that.
I used Facebook and asked question to friends to know his essential reason.
I was just asking people on Facebook , because his sudden change and angry of 【3/16】was too strange.
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Definitely I never judged about him for 2 years
- because I don’t judge about relatives.
Definitely I never met with another boy for 2 years when they invited me
- because if he knew it, he feel sad.
These are 当たり前のこと when we think of someone importantly .
This is Base as human, don’t you think so ?
.
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But he was always judging 2 women to choose better one ?
Compare for better one ?
If it was not so, Why he hided and lied to both of she and me ?
He should say at the most earlier timing to me that
“ I HAVE GIRL FRIEND AND WE CANNOT BE BOY FRIEND AND GIRL FRIEND ! ! ! . “
And I never met him after.
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Or if he really wanted to start relationship with me,
he should have consultation with Jie san about relationship that he is dating with me,
and after fix discuss for break up, we should start this relationship.
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“ I am single “ from hisself is irrelevantly,
「あー、私は、ブレイクアップしましたー。」
Was what ??????
if I was Jie san’s side and he was saying like that to other women,
How much feel Sad.
Why , He cannot imagine Jie san’s feeling ?
and me.
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After we talked about relationship and started our relationship in his room, We hugged.
At that Hug , I cried .
Because it was the first time that I could be girl friend and boyfriend with favorite person that I can think so from my bottom of heart。
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He said to me worryingly
「なんで〜？」(泣くの？)
That voice and action was really really sweet to me.
And I said,
「幸せで。。」
And he ゆっくり頷きました。with sweet smile.
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It was really really beautiful moment in my earlier memory.
But under this situation, it changes 180° completely
What he was feeling, What he was thinking when he sees my happy tears??
His happy face was ?????
He should break up with her before that,
Or he should not start anything with me.
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After he changed his mood suddenly,
I feel like my body is cutting into half so no eat, only water and no sleep I wake up in few minutes with his dream with tears flood.
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It became” 6 “ months.
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While I cannot stand up from bed for this 6 months,
While I forget how to eat food for this 6 months.
.
.
He is already forgetting that he was telling lie to me in the complete same 2 years as Jie san ?
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Now
He commits lie to both.
Jie san
Decided to believe his lie.
Jie san’s friend says
“ we believe Jie . “
. . . 。
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Yes, friends always should believe friend,
I also think so and I do.
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But, What does she believes now?
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Fake stories he makes ?
Without any check proofs of details for Truth ?
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God is watching
even if ,
I dropped out to survive this situation and this world
and disappear
I just believe
Truth will reach someday