I tried to even change X ( it was the most serious and critical for life )
because,
I thought I couldn’t join your holidays was my fault,
- lack of my effort as women or as person to be introduced to your family.
I thought,
I need to change my self radically, if you feel something that you cannot introduce your partner to your family.
If ,,,, I knew your truth more early, I did not wound myself .
I should...., I should casted to you that I am lonely and pain, I want to more join your family and friends, Before injury myself and before I assume that these are my fault.
I felt, I felt you tried to hide me to people at Entrance of your dorm in Odaiba, I thought my Fashion is unique and pink, so maybe you feel shame.
Or another reason of me.
I thought Everything is my fault.
I didn't wanted to bother you, so I persecuted myself every time I feel lonely about you.
Because I never thought that is your reason of circumstance.
I wanted to more consult with you that I am lonely. If it was not my fault..
I wanted to more more nestle to you if it was not my fault. Before deny myself, before wound myself, before burden my self with responsibility,