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I very much enjoyed that Matthew does not add fuel to the fire of the battle of the sexes, but instead shows that men are in many ways just as vulnerable as women. View 2 comments. Jan 13, April Hamilton rated it it was ok. Now" The book is described as providing dating tips that still let you be you , and don't require any gamesmanship to meet and keep a quality man; neither claim turns out to be true.

In a nutshell, the book's how-to can be boiled down to this: 1. Get an amazing, irresistible life. Be an amazing, irresistible person. Stop being insecure. Chat and flirt with everything that moves, employing these specific strategies, types of come-ons, text messages and actions which may totally seem like gamesmanship and manipulation, but trust the author, it's not.

Follow those four simple steps and success is assured. An actual excerpt from the bookI'm not kidding. If you're drinking anything, put the cup down now or your keyboard will be drenched in a few seconds: "The reason a guy gets hooked on one woman is not because she is just sexy , or just playful , or just certain , or just feminine , or just bursting with integrity , but because she possesses a unique combination of traits: the girl who is warm, has integrity, and can charm his family, then rips his clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual goddess; the girl who is playful with his friends, can debate politics like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday watching movies and eating pizza; the girl who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is feminine and loving with her man.

Women like this cause an alarm to go off inside a guy's head and heart. Keep her, he thinks. This one's amazing! I could just as easily advise guys seeking dating advice: "The reason a woman gets hooked on one man is not because he is just sexy , or just playful , or just certain , or just masculine , or just bursting with integrity , but because he possesses a unique combination of traits: the man who is warm, has integrity, and can charm her family, then rips her clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual god who's willing to invest all the time she needs in foreplay; the man who is respectful with her friends, can fix things around the house and in the garage like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday at the museum or craft fair; the guy who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is gentle and loving with his woman and lavishes attention on her.

Men like this cause an alarm to go off inside a woman's head and heart. He's just a character in a romance novel, she thinks. Be more realistic! View all 4 comments. Nov 03, Nic rated it it was ok. Most of the advice in this book was geared towards making you feel like you have to be a Manic Pixie Dream Girl in order to land a guy. There's a lot of unsettling talk about constantly sexually validating your man in order to keep him or else he'll cheat!

I have a particular problem with Hussey's repeated insinuations that if you are good enough , you can tame that bad boy who doesn't want to commit.

Read: it's your fault he's not c Eh. Read: it's your fault he's not committing. I did take a couple good things from here. The idea of being a High Value Woman, while played out to ridiculous lengths by Hussey, is a good concept at it's core. I do think it's helpful to realize that being too available, and not letting someone work for you a bit, might be creating a bad dynamic in your relationships. I liked the chunk at the very end about values and standards - I wished the whole book had more material like this because that section was awesome.

I added those kernels to my "self-help" arsenal. I'd say read it if you're trying to improve and learn about yourself and you have the time. Don't read it if you take everything to heart and can't filter out the bullshit, or if you can only fit in a book here and there. View all 5 comments. Jul 09, Kim rated it really liked it Shelves: dating-relationships. This is a great book, but it's more of a broad "this is how you should live your life" philosophy book. So if you're expecting a detailed how-to-capture-a-man-step-by-step manual, you'll be disappointed.

A lot of what Hussey says is common sense, but some girls like me who are kind of clueless with men need to hear it. I like that the tone of this book is very hopeful and optimistic, and his advice is two-fold: not only is it about improving your dating life, but it's also about improving yours This is a great book, but it's more of a broad "this is how you should live your life" philosophy book.

I like that the tone of this book is very hopeful and optimistic, and his advice is two-fold: not only is it about improving your dating life, but it's also about improving yourself as a human being. I appreciate his advice because 1. I learned a lot from this book. I deducted one star because I was hoping for a bit more in terms of how-to and instructions, but I'm not sure how Hussey could have pulled that off since every guy and girl and dating situation is different.

Overall, this is a great, empowering read that I'd recommend to pretty much every single gal out there. Apr 26, capture stories rated it liked it. A great book that functions as a simple, straightforward operating manual about life and relationship: it's cute, fun, and entertaining as Matthew Hussey gives us a glimpse into how a guy "generally" would think being in and out of love, when they are IN or OUT of action or missing in action and hints into the train of thoughts behind those unfathomable disappearance acts of men during and after connection.

I enjoyed the bright side, hopeful and proactiveness of Matthew's advice about building a A great book that functions as a simple, straightforward operating manual about life and relationship: it's cute, fun, and entertaining as Matthew Hussey gives us a glimpse into how a guy "generally" would think being in and out of love, when they are IN or OUT of action or missing in action and hints into the train of thoughts behind those unfathomable disappearance acts of men during and after connection.

I enjoyed the bright side, hopeful and proactiveness of Matthew's advice about building a relationship, keeping it, and most importantly, improving your life by being your best version. The book's intelligent approach is more practical, common sense geared and applying these tips to daily interactions with people you meet. Though dating and relationship topic books are not my cups of tea, I did appreciate the values and the author's original aspects.

It is eye-opening for a person who is clueless about a love relationship. Apr 26, Nicole Johnson rated it did not like it Shelves: stopped-reading. I liked the whole thing about being social and chatting up everyone.

After that, I personally just could not get over the fact that every single reference was geared toward the Caucasian population. Every time a woman was described, the visualization was that of a white woman. All of the men who were described, also that of white men. I know it may not matter to most and many may not understand, but, as a woman of color, it's nice to know that you see, hear and recognize women of color.

It was d I liked the whole thing about being social and chatting up everyone. It was distracting to continue listening to how men are attracted to women who's characteristics mean that they're white. If the audience you are speaking to does not include me, I am not inclined to continue in the audience.

Also, thought the Don Draper reference was a bit weird considering the extramarital affairs It has some helpful bits but overall, this book was not for me. Left me more frustrated and annoyed than anything. View 1 comment. Apr 22, Amelia Hay rated it it was amazing. I had to come to this, though.

And guess what? And their wives? She might come home from work and instead of kicking off those heels, keep them on and whisper in his ear to meet her in the bedroom for a pre- dinner snack.

Or she might smile a little more, act a little bit more happy, be a tad bit more spontaneous—appreciate her man more, and show it, too. This was certainly the story of one of my really good friends.

Dude was miserable. I mean, he was losing weight. And I want them back. Any married man can look at him and see how to get it done. And you know what? He goes home every night. She is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. She loves the Lord. And she cares for, respects, and adores me deeply. It started while I was doing a show in Memphis.

She walked in with another attractive woman. I knew right then and there we were going to be mar- ried some day of course, this was really more of a hope than a certainty—smile. Maybe she knew it, too, or at least liked what she saw because even though she disappeared the night I informed her of my plan, she showed up two nights later at another show of mine, and this time, I asked her to come backstage and talk for a while.

She agreed, and we became fast friends, and even dated for a spell. But eventually, we both went our separate ways. Still, Mar- jorie and I always remembered the friendship we had together, and we reached out to check up on each other from time to time. But, even though I knew I was in love with this woman and that she loved me, I was still con- nected to some women friends I had developed after my divorce, when I had really started dating again.

I should have known better, though. And sure enough, late that night, when I got up to go to the bathroom— it was about A. She was going to leave me—leave us. Her response made me realize right then and there, in the middle of that hallway, in the middle of the night, that she was The One.

I got these kids, I have a good life, and I want a man who will come in and complete my family. I realized right then and there, in that hallway, that I wanted no other. In other words, I became the man she needed me to be be- cause she had sense enough to have requirements—standards that she needed in her relationship in order to make the rela- tionship work for her.

She also knew this man had to be faithful, love God, and be willing to do what it took to keep this family together. These requirements are important to her because they govern how she will be treated; they are important to me, too, because they lay out a virtual map of what all I need to do to make sure she gets what she needs and wants.

And it is my sole mission in life to make sure Marjorie is happy. It really makes us quite happy when you lay out your requirements for us. We do like some kind of decorum. By the time ser vice is over, I feel so uplifted, I know the rest of my week is going to go great.

Get the picture? Be sure of this: if you tell a man you like red roses at work, dinner at that special restaurant across town, and Chanel bags for your birthday, that is exactly what he will give you—nothing less, but certainly nothing more.

And you will think that because he stopped, he changed. My philosophy? For example, funny? How do you expect to be pursued? Do you want regular phone calls? Text messages? Dates at least three times a week? Do you want him to always pick up the tab? What level of commitment do you expect? Do you want an open relationship?

Or to date exclusively? Should it be up for discussion? Do you want him to be rich? Do you want him to make more money than you? Are you okay with a blue-collar worker? Do you want a man who wants kids and is family oriented? Can you help a man build his dream? Can you adapt to his plan? What do you expect of his family? Should you get along with his mother?

Or if his father was never around? What should he be willing to do to woo you? Should he pursue you? Give you expensive gifts? But this much I will tell you: this man had it all—money, fame, and a bevy of super- beauties so bad he could have easily made Hugh Hefner scratch his head and wonder how he could get in on that action.

I mean this man was surrounded by gorgeous women. A lot. Still, he was a master at keeping a stack of solid tens at all times, with commitments to none of them. And I needed to know how this was done um, not neces- sarily so that I, too, could have supermodels hanging on my every word, but because I was genuinely blown away by the phenomenon.

It just is what it is. And the more I asked the same questions of guys in similar situ- ations, I heard the same answer, again and again. It happens with everyday guys—doctors and lawyers, truckers and deliv- erymen, too. Your objective is to avoid being on the string.

Just stop being afraid, already. And we men? We recognize this and play on it, big time. My sons will do it the same way because they can and there will be women who allow it to happen. How do you do this? Start by making the man be really clear up front about what he wants out of his life and his relationship with you.

Remember: No. His answer also will help you determine whether you want to be a part of that plan or not. Men love to talk about themselves. We do this because we know that in order to catch you, we have to impress you. So allow us to impress. Maybe you can even see yourself helping him study or being there for him at graduation and giving him suggestions for how to transform himself from the blue-collar worker who installs the cable to the engineer who helps build the technology for the cable company.

The same applies to the man who states his short-term goals, but clearly has no plan to implement them. Either way, you may not want to sign up for his plan. Just stick to your own. If his long-term plan is the same as his short-term plan, get out.

The man you should consider spending a little time on is the one who has a plan—a well-thought-out plan that you can see yourself in. Because please believe me when I tell you—and like I told you in an earlier chapter—a man always has a plan.

And then I met Sinbad. And I knew I wanted a piece of that action. His success made me realize that there was something to this comedy thing—that I needed to set in place a long-term plan that would afford me the kind of life I could see was possible for a comedian. I wanted to get on television to provide a life- style for my family that would make them proud.

I envisioned my life this way, and then created a plan for how I was going to get it. But the point is, I had a long-term plan, with steps on how I was going to get there. Eventually, I reached those goals and then some. Now this one is a multiple-part question that sizes up how a man feels about a gamut of relationships—from how he feels about his parents and kids to his connection with God.

Do it before you kiss this man, maybe even before you agree to go on a date with him—this is a great phone conversation, for sure. What are his views on it? Does he want a family? How does he feel about children? Next, ask him about his relationship with his mother. We learn to protect her and provide for her; we learn about the basic core of love for a woman from her.

At any rate, ask questions about his relationship with his father, and his answers are bound to reveal the kind of father he just might turn out to be. After all, what moral barometer does he answer to if not to God? If you have already had a sexual encounter with the man, you can ask these questions anyway.

But his answer will be critical because it will reveal to you what his plans for you are. You have a right to know. This, you will be able to tell by his answers. Listen to his answer closely. So do the follow-ups. That was really nice. And so forth with whatever char- acteristic he attributes to you.

And this is exactly where you want to be with this guy. W e men are fully aware that we have to answer these ques- tions, and any real man is going to answer them. Maybe she might be the one to get me to the next level. I was living in Cleveland, I had a two-bedroom apart- ment, brand spanking new. And I had a job at the Ford motor plant. They had a high hourly wage there, and overtime—more money than a man of my stature could dream of making.

Thing is, you had to be on the job for a while to get them. You can get your eyes checked, no problem. Your hernia could bust and we will take care of you. Your whole family will be covered. And you know something? All of this made perfect sense to me. I was being challenged to show everybody at the plant that I was serious, and ready and able to work hard for both the salary and the right to have them pay my medical and dental expenses—and as a man, I needed and wanted to prove that I was up for the challenge and worthy of the reward.

I agreed percent with what the Ford Motor Company was saying to me, and so I signed on the dotted line. I wanted to be a part of the Ford family. Those are things that happen during the course of a budding relationship—you do special things for each other because you care. And he could walk off the job at any time.

A directive like that signals to a man that you are not a plaything—someone to be used and discarded. And you, in the meantime, win the ultimate prize of maintaining your dignity and self-esteem, and earning the respect of the man who recognized that you were worth the wait.

Most impor- tant, is this really a man with whom you can see yourself in a committed relationship? Or do you see signs that make your God-given intuition kick in? Give it at least ninety days, and you can smoke all of that out of him, so that you can be sure that this guy is the right man for you. This is not a secret: men love and want sex, and will try within reason to get it by any means necessary. But guess what? The Power. The decision of when we get to kiss you is yours. That decision is yours.

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