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Repeat over and over. Closing gaps incrementally is a much better way to operate. The other party usually feels insulted. It risks your credibility. Mistrust ensues. Extreme offers also violate one of the fundamental negotiation principles: being incremental. Almost by definition, an extreme offer is the opposite of incremental. So the chances of the other party accepting it are much less.

Maybe they can talk some sense into the person being extreme. All parties value the same items using different value systems. You then set up trades that match items one party values highly but which are inconsequential to the other party.

For example, employees may be willing to trade working on public holidays for more vacation time later in the year. Kids may trade TV time in exchange for doing more homework. A retailer may give you a bigger discount if you will supply two or three referrals from your friends or acquaintances.

Any time you incorporate items of unequal value to the parties into a negotiation, you expand the pie and create more opportunities for everyone. This is well worth doing. Once you find out what they are, you can trade them. In the process, you will get what you consider valuable things for yourself. Trading items of unequal value will cause the overall number or value of items in the negotiation to rise, making more available for all. The other party will become less price-sensitive, the relationship will get better, trust will be higher, and your own value to the other party will increase — whether in business or personal life.

First, you find out the pictures in their heads. Then you have to find the pictures in yours. Then you trade them. These are what you must use to get more of what you want.

Your standards are important to you but in a negotiation, you have to use the standards of the other party if you want to get anywhere. So if you give people a choice between being consistent with their standards — with what they have said and promised previously — and contradicting their standards, people will usually strive to be consistent with their standards. Candidly admit things and be genuine. That is, they should start with goals, focus on people, and be situational.

Your credibility is more important than your expertise, connections, intelligence, assets, and looks. This should lift the burden of having to be someone you are not. This means, if you are very aggressive, warn people in the beginning. First, it takes away the issue by resetting expectations.

Second, it makes you more real; it increases your credibility. Third, it eliminates the need for you to do any sort of dance, to act in a way that is unnatural to you. Now you can focus on meeting your goals. Never walk away from a negotiation unless everyone has agreed to take a break — or unless you want to end the negotiation and go in a different direction. A negotiation can only occur when information is flowing both ways.

Good negotiators know better than to threaten the other party. Is there something we can do to get on the same page. Is it your goal to make your customers happy? But there are at least four tools folded into that question. First, it helps to establish a relationship with the other person — you start out informal and chatty.

Second, it is a question — questions are a great way to collect information. Not talking is a sign of weakness. Yet that is exactly the opposite of conventional wisdom. How does that make any sense at all? Uncover the true underlying reason for why they think the way they do and you have a golden opportunity to transform that problem into an opportunity to move your negotiation forward.

I demand that we meet your interests. I want my interests met. In other words, to understand people, you have to try to feel their pain, their happiness and uncertainty, and address it in your negotiation strategy.

And you have to let them know you are trying. They may make you feel uncomfortable but when it comes to negotiation, different is better. When two completely different parties negotiate, ideas will come out which are more creative and ultimately more profitable for everyone involved. Great negotiators love differences.

Treat them as opportunities to do great stuff. Aggressive, goal-directed people are good closers. They will make sure the deal gets done. Accommodating people, who are often much better listeners, are good openers. They help connect with the other party.

Compromisers are good in an emergency; they can make decisions quickly. Collaborators make good facilitators; they consider the needs of all parties.

To get better at negotiating, you have to practice using all the various negotiation strategies, tools and mental models which are available. To do this systematically well, make a list of what you might try when preparing for a negotiation. Think through all the various approaches you might use. Practice using these tools before the negotiation and then hold a debrief later where you review how things went.

The emotional and psychic rewards they get, and the anguish, must be part of the negotiation process. The substance, the facts, and the expertise make up less than 10 percent. This is quite counterintuitive for most people. If you can increase your success by even a few percent in your negotiations with others, you will be fabulously more successful. A look. A small gesture. The tools that work are very small, subtle, and yet very effective. Getting to the real problem at hand is vital because it will color and influence everything else you do.

When you state the real problem clearly, other options for achieving the same thing will come into view. Clear statements of problems have a way of generating equally clear options for fixing them. To negotiate effectively, you have to know who will make the decision and who can and will influence the decision maker. Be careful in compiling this list. Try and anticipate who these people might conceivably be and prepare accordingly. Be realistic about what the end result will be if you cannot agree to terms in your negotiation.

Step 5 is to do your homework so you can be prepared for anything and everything. Great negotiations are always completely transparent so help the other party prepare thoroughly. Rather, you want the other party to leave the negotiation with something they are satisfied with today, tomorrow and next week.

Goals are the be-all and end-all of all negotiations. You negotiate to meet your goals. Everything else is subservient to that.

Just after she arrived, she wrote a note to the other twelve senior executives, inviting them to a meeting, asking them to bring their goals for the company. You just got here. I promise you that if you let the meeting happen, it will be worthwhile.

The other twelve senior executives came to the meeting with their goals for the company. The strategy vice president wrote them up on the board, one by one. They had fourteen different goals. And most of these goals contradicted each other. That is, what subjects will be covered, and in what order. Get an agenda that both parties agree to. This will help the parties get back on track if they get lost.

It will also help organize things. Now you have surfaced most of the issues to discuss. Start with the easy things. It gives the parties a sense of accomplishment and progress as they agree on them. What aremy goals? To get more out of every negotiation, however, you need to know more than the basic facts. Steps 6 - 10 are how you do that. First, as step 6 you identify the needs and interests of each party. Gy getting to know this, you have a rough idea of what an acceptable deal will look like.

Do I need to adjust my goals in some way in order to increase the likelihood they will agree? Here are my issues. Here is myproposal. Even if you hate the other side, you need to connect with them. Remember, you are the least important person in the negotiation. The most important person is them. And the second most important person is a third party important to the negotiators. It helps to make a human connection.

And humans are social beings, with few exceptions. Even discussing differences is a connection. It was a Tuesday afternoon. Bowman had a breakfast scheduled for Thursday morning with representatives of the major Hollywood studios to talk about the dispute. He had a number of substantive issues and wanted to know the order in which to bring them up — royalties, basic compensation, etc.

Commiserate with them. The result? At the breakfast meeting, the parties agreed to restart negotiations after months of deadlock. Negotiation Case Study 2 A student went to a major department store in Philadelphia to buy a suit for a job interview. There, a harried salesclerk was fielding all sorts of demands and complaints by other customers. The student waited until all the other customers cleared out and the salesclerk had some time.

He then noted she must be tired after a full day of work. The student was fairly certain he was the first person all day who had treated her kindly. The student then noted the discount already marked on the suit and asked if there was anything else that could be done — such as an additional discount for using a store credit card, or for making payment in cash, and so forth.

The salesclerk noted none of these programs applied in this case. View, sign, comment on, and share PDFs for free. Perfect for individualand groups of knowledge workers who need to create, review, edit, manage, share, and secure PDF documents. Get it done, fast. No more paper or frustrating interfaces.

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