Mark lundholm humor in treatment full video free download

Zane heard nothing. He tried to see into the stands, but it was too dark. Zane: Who are you? Addict-Self: None of your business. Zane: Come down here and talk to me face to face. We can watch women in those spandex suits you like. Tell me your name. Addict-Self Looker : You know who I am.

This time I want to see what you look like. Zane: Wait, I want to see you. I know what you like. You like to see those women with their breasts and butts practically bursting out of their workout clothes. Zane: I said come down here and talk to me face to face. I want more. I want something real.

Looker: Something real? You want to look at those babes in their spandex and imagine them doing whatever you want them to do. They might have been in a class at the other end of the gym than his class, or he might have wandered into the gymnasium, or he might have seen them running outside on the soccer field.

Standing there, he watched an eighteen-year-old girl get ready for bed. It was this boy, Looker, who was trying to recapture the excitement Zane had felt as the boy. For Zane, this dialogue with Looker continued, on and off, for weeks. For the sake of your sanity, for the sake of the quality of your life, turn your lights on. Say something to get the conversation going. You could talk about starting your recovery. You could talk about how you know the addict-self is there.

The point is to say something. You might have to try talking to your addict subpersonality five or even many more times. It represents your story. Maybe your parents were mean to you. Maybe you went to your room and made up a porn story or you stole porn. Your addict-self up in the amphitheater is not your friend. Because of this fear, this part will continue to encourage you to pursue the false relationships of porn, prostitutes, phone sex, and so on.

What if you find yourself in a porn shop, but you feel conflicted? And in these moments, what if you had a dialogue with your addict-self? What if you play the part of being your own therapist and stir things up? Marv Breaks with His Porn Addict In his late thirties, Marv came to counseling to deal with his sex addiction so it would be more manageable.

However, he still liked to go to porn shops. Although this happened some years ago, before porn on the Internet became so big, you can experience something similar while sitting at your computer.

Marv knew I wanted his experience of porn shops to change, and he was not happy about it. His porn-addict voice was still very strong, and it was upset. Despite having dialogued with it in his amphitheater, Marv was having difficulty making a break with his porn addict, and I wanted to be there, in the porn shop with him, to see if I could shift the balance so that my voice might become the voice Marv remembered the next time he wanted to visit a porn shop.

This gives him pause, even for a millisecond, which is a way for him to think about stopping. This gives him the opportunity to stop before his addictive energies start flowing. When Marv and I walked into the porn shop, a big, muscular guy covered with tattoos was standing behind the counter.

Tattoo Guy was not thrilled about me starting a conversation and, in a loud whisper, demanded to know what the fuck I wanted. I replied that Marv and I were just here looking, and I turned to Marv and loudly asked what it was in particular that he liked.

Tattoo Guy was stressed. He was not usually asked for directions, but he pointed to aisle 3. As Marv and I walked to that aisle, I was still talking loudly. We started to get glances from other guys in the shop. Again, I was trying to provoke Marv to think differently, to have a different and more realistic story about who goes to porn shops and the experience of being in such a shop.

We got to the bondage aisle and I flipped open a magazine. I stopped at a photo of an anonymous woman tied to a bed. She was on her knees with her rear-end pointed at the camera. It was difficult for them to stand being a part of that much reality. For the next few minutes, Marv and I continued looking at photos in the bondage magazines. The addictive spell Marv had been under no longer had the same power over him. He had taken a big step in breaking free.

Confronting Your Addict in the Amphitheater What I did with Marv is something that you can do with the addict subpersonality you meet in your amphitheater. You can continue the dialogue wherever you are. In fact, the whole idea of imagining the amphitheater allows you to eventually run the show, instead of the stories you tell yourself being in charge. Every single thing you do as an addict —and much of the rest of the time—is the result of having thought about, read about, or done it before.

And you—the essence of you, or your essential self—have no need for any story. Your essence is very wise. It keeps you out of trouble. It does the right thing instead of following a story that would lend itself better to a soap opera.

As I often remind my clients, you will experience resistance and sabotage. Everyone is doing porn. And why did I pick up this book? You have to be relentless, more relentless than the Looker, the Drinker, the Porn Guy. If you actually do something about it, then you can change your mind—and this is the whole idea. Confronting your subpersonalities is a way to reduce the pain and suffering in your life. When that happens, you go into regression and you search your mental computer for something that will make you feel better.

Are you doing that now? If so, how long do you want to continue to do that? The real question is: How good can you stand it? How much peace, joy, and serenity can you take? Your amphitheater is always happening. Do you want to make use of it? Read the exercise below and just do it. Remember, it may not be easy, and it might not work well the first time you do it, but this exercise has worked again and again for people with sexually compulsive behavior just like you.

Imagine yourself in your personal amphitheater with the lights on. What would you say to it? What questions would you ask? Your first step is to give your addict a nickname. Others name their addicts Hotshot, Loser, Mr. Jerkoff, and so on. Talk to this addict subpersonality as if it were a real person. Why do you want me to act this particular way? You begin to separate your thinking and your story from who you really are.

Try to spend at least ten minutes a day on this exercise. As you go through the next day, go to your amphitheater whenever your addict shows up, even if you spend only a few moments there.

Talk to it. Writing down the dialogue will give the experience a stronger impact. If you keep going to the amphitheater and conducting dialogues with your addict, your thoughts will have less power over you and you will begin to feel more in charge.

One of the voices that calls out to you from your personal amphitheater is the Screwup. What this book offers you is the ability to rewrite your story. You can change that character so that it no longer causes divorces, loss of jobs, or other problems. And you are not your mind.

Your Mind Is Like a Library You could think of your mind as a giant library of information composed of memories, feelings, and projections. Everything that ever happened to you is recorded in this archive. Every time I ate a pizza, I unconsciously compared it to the pizza at Cutters, which may or may not have been great.

But it was so exciting to eat pizza as a boy with my family that my criteria in my adult life were based on eating pizza at Cutters in That childhood experience became what is called my euphoric recall for eating pizza. My practice is now to try to do everything as if it were happening for the first time. Guess what?

Mind does not want to change, even for the better. Cutting Through Euphoric Recall Most of us also have euphoric recall for sexual experiences. There is so much for each of us to see freshly in the present, without comparing.

Avoid remembering how great the sex was when you first masturbated or when you saw your first porn. Avoid thinking of what it was like to be in the backseat of the car with your first girlfriend.

Euphoric recall will take you away from your current experience. Euphoric recall is a function of your mind and your memory. This is why you should remember that you are not your mind. You are not your memories. You can live a more fulfilling life in the moment. It is there to be used for a specific task, and when the task is completed, you lay it down.

Unlike them, Larry was shy and was not drawn to the law. Larry felt left out. This false belief compounded his social awkwardness. Masturbation became a coping mechanism and a way for him to avoid social contact. Larry loved country music. He attended a vocational training college and moved to Nashville to pursue his dream of working in the music business. Despite not knowing anyone in Nashville, with his education and his passion for the music, Larry was hired at a low-level position.

But outside of work, Larry was lonely. As he had done earlier in his life, Larry went to strip clubs and watched porn. Because he was shy, rather than trying to date a real woman, it seemed so much easier to indulge himself with masturbation. Larry would spend hours and hours on porn sites, searching for the perfect woman with perfect breasts in the perfect sexual situation.

When his sexually compulsive behavior began to greatly interfere with his concentration on the job, Larry contacted me. We worked together for months. Finally, Larry was able to make a different choice. One night at a bar after listening to a band that his boss was considering signing to a recording contract, Larry walked back to his car. It was late and, as usual, he was about to drive home alone. Across the street from his car he saw the lights of a porn shop.

It was, of course, open until midnight. Larry walked over to the porn shop and debated with himself about going inside. I can feel the pull. Porn Guy: Then what are you waiting for? Larry: I know you have a tremendous desire to go into this porn shop and get momentary gratification. Larry: In experiencing the pull, I can get beyond it. Stop being such a wuss!

Just go on in! Larry: No. Then Larry walked back to his car and drove home. Larry later told me that he knew that the way to move forward was to stand still for a minute and let his negative subpersonality, Porn Guy, try to persuade him. But Larry was able to take a stand with his addict. That was a turning point for Larry. In taking a stand against his addict, Larry transcended his negative subpersonality, which was pounding on him to concede and go in to buy porn.

You Can Say No to Your Addict Larry was able to take a stand because hehad done enough work on his sexually compulsive behavior that it was no longer completely automatic.

He had reached a point where he could make a choice. Some of my clients have described this experience as a death. Not a death of themselves, but a death of the old story in their mind that kept them doing the same thing over and over again. Once you realize that you are not your mind, you are not your story, you can begin to break from your story.

For example, he started going on bicycle rides with groups of people. On one such ride, a woman he had noticed before rode her bike beside him and they started talking.

Her name was Lisa. Talking led to dating. Larry decided to let nature take its course rather than trying to persuade her to have sex immediately. As problems came up, they discussed their issues. They dated for several weeks before they had sex.

Larry was very clear that sex was not the most important part of their relationship. He was interested in being with Lisa, sharing ideas, and understanding women in general and Lisa in particular. And how does that relate to me? Larry and Lisa became a couple. The possibility of a real relationship began when Larry understood that he was not his mind. He was not his thoughts. He was not Porn Guy, who wanted only to watch porn. He had taken a stand. Your Mind Is Not Who You Are About ten years after I completed my studies in graduate school, I had the good fortune to experience the teachings of several spiritual teachers, especially Eckhart Tolle.

Through my studies in graduate school, I was able to understand and change my emotional makeup. But when I read the book The Power of Now, I experienced myself in a new way, a way that I could not have logically anticipated.

I would never have thought that I was not my mind. I suddenly realized that if I was not my mind, then I was also not my thoughts—the thoughts that made up the story that I told myself about myself and my compulsions.

During my childhood, I had listened to what my parents and teachers had to say to me and to teach me. I also observed their actions toward others and me. From those teachings and observations, I developed a story—the story of George. Although my parents did the best they could, they were operating from their own sad and difficult stories. Most of my story was based on my home situation and how my parents related to me and to each other. Feeling that way about myself was my norm.

To compensate for what I thought of as my character defects, I developed coping strategies. These coping behaviors were meant to help me feel better, if even for a moment. My coping strategy involved the objectification of women. As a boy, it was fun and pleasurable to look at naked and half-naked women in catalogues and magazines, such as National Geographic.

My mother exhibited inappropriate nudity and suggestive sexual talk toward me in a way that would be called emotionally incestuous. My situation with my parents was too much for my young mind to handle. I was living this story at the direction of my young mind, which was still largely under the influence of my parents. That is what you can do, too. Now, I can actually be in the moment, at least a great deal of the time, and not live and act in reaction to my history.

I can watch my mind as it makes decisions and plans what to do next. Joey has been having these dialogues for long enough to begin to experience that he is not his mind. We have to think, especially about sex. Joey: Waking up in the morning, and at other times, I can hear all the negative, self-hating voices really jump out at me.

Mind: Yes! Have to think, have to think! We can just be silent inside. Mind: No, no. We need to be thinking about things, imagining, planning. Joey: We can stop. Or we can, at least, pause. Mind: Run, run. There is too much to think about.

Joey: We can settle this by watching ourselves think. I am also curious why you sometimes jump into this fierce self-hatred. Mind: Have to think about something. Those are easy, and we can think about those. Joey: Okay, yes, screwups do seem to bubble to the surface easier than other things.

But you can help me by flagging this and reminding me to watch. Mind: Maybe. Gotta run. Gotta think. Joey: Just try. Try to think about watching. Mind: Okay. The important thing is to be consciously aware that you are not your mind. Go to a quiet, private place with low light and as little sound as possible. Sit down for a few minutes. Stop everything. Stop your mind. Just be aware that you exist. Even if you can manage to stop your mind for only two seconds, do it. Just be aware of your existence, not your story.

Not any story. You just are. Start with just a second or two. But you need to experience the tremendous difference between who you are and the story of you. Once you realize that you are not your story, you can begin to take your stories apart. You may have an eating addiction that is not you. But you are not your job. If sexual images and memories come up, try naming your subpersonality and dialoguing with it. Similarly, by dialoguing with your subpersonalities and noticing your thoughts, you can take my job as a counselor and uncover your own false stories and myths.

This book will provide you with the tools to demystify—clearly see the associations you have with—your false stories and to break free of your sexually compulsive behavior.

Everybody has a story. If you feel the need to deny your story, is it because you want a better story? Continue to watch your mind and, when necessary, take a stand against it. For now, begin to work on taking a stand with your mind so that you can stop the incessant overthinking that can lead to self-destructive behavior. Be with yourself and observe that you are not your mind.

You are not your thoughts. Begin to experience that you are something more than what your mind says. Chapter 4 C. TV shows, think of this chapter as an adventure in which you discover clues about yourself and uncover the mystery of your story.

Your compulsive behavior is based on your story. If you want to learn how you can live your life differently, you need to step back and change how you look at things. To do this, you need to be something of a detective. You need to uncover the facts in order to get to the truth.

By uncovering your story, you will disempower your story and empower yourself to live without giving in to your compulsions. Consequently, his family always lived beyond its means. In taking his history, Ryan saw a connection between growing up with the lack of intimacy between his parents and his current sexually compulsive behavior. Because no intimacy between family members had ever been modeled for Ryan, he had never learned how to be intimate with others.

Ryan had learned only to pretend, just as he had seen his father do. Ryan had sought some sort of stability and had married a stripper. We believe that recovery means empowerment, and we support each other as partners walking the path of recovery together. Marijuana Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share our experience, strength, and hope with each other that we may solve our common problem and help others to recover from marijuana addiction.

The Family Giving Tree envisions a world where Giving brings joy, offers hope and opens possibilities. By inspiring community kindness, generosity, and volunteerism, The Family Giving Tree fulfills exact holiday wishes and provides backpacks filled with STEAM-based school supplies to those in need.

Contact Us. Agenda Speakers About. Featured Speakers. Gabrielle Antolovich. About Many Paths One Destination Our Mission To bring together people from the many paths of recovery to foster and celebrate our common goal of freedom from addiction.

Our Vision We strive to increase awareness and understanding of addiction and recovery, and inspire collaboration and community through events, service and outreach.

Sponsors and Featured Organizations. Visit website. But they see growth in other areas too. While other libraries are boosting technology, these two are growing seed-lending programs.

Patrons borrow seeds, plant them, harvest seeds and return them to the library — with no fines for overdue materials see more on these programs in the September issue of Encore. Other creative and inventive programs serve the unique needs of these small communities, expanding the libraries into all-purpose community centers. Still a campus resource The Upjohn Library at Kalamazoo College serves as something of a community center too. But this academic library, which serves both students and faculty, is more about research than pleasure reading, Nowicki says.

She visits all first-year classes to talk to new students about how to use an academic library and how to do research. But Lisiecki hops up quickly and goes into another room to get her own brush.

And to help her students achieve similar levels. Denise Lisiecki, KIA Art School director, finds a moment to work on one of her large watercolor paintings in her home studio. Opposite page: Lisiecki is preparing works, like this one, for an exhibition in Cleveland in the coming year.

Take the pressure of the brush and release the paint onto the paper. And the rest of her look, like her paintings, involves bold color choices: red top, bright blue necklace, red sandals, red toenails.

Yes, Lisiecki is an artist right down to her toes. Her works are in museum and corporate collections throughout the country, and she has been featured in the former American Artist and Watercolor magazines. I just have a personality that thrives and can do many things. It starts to clarify things for you. Many of her students take her classes multiple times. I had done watercolors but had never felt comfortable with them.

The techniques she teaches are just great. Now I take the classes for fun. She used to show her students examples of works by nationally recognized watercolorists.

But one of her students, Gail Wheaton, went to the KIA office after her first class and asked for her money back, feeling she would never be able to create such wonderful work. Lisiecki overheard the request and persuaded her to persevere.

She wanted more control of the movement of water and paint on paper. Growing up in Cleveland, Lisiecki attended a junior high and high school that both had strong art programs. One of her high school teachers, in fact, trained his students to have a portfolio ready so that they could get into the Cleveland Institute of Art. She was one of the top chemistry students in her high school. But she also became interested in printmaking, screen-printing in particular.

When she began working at the KIA, she taught printmaking, and for 10 years she would do her own screen-printing eight hours every day. At that time, the ink used was oil-based and the fumes highly toxic. She was looking for a gift one day for a friend who wanted books by women artists when she happened upon a book on watercolors by Sondra Freckelton.

That painting got into a national watercolor show and was purchased by a museum in Alpena. Her predominant subject matter has changed, too, over the years. When she moved to Michigan in , she began focusing on flowers.

For a long time I used just flowers as subject matter. The composition is quite dynamic. The colors are bold. Recently a beer distributor asked her to create paintings of continued on page He will discuss the work in a talk titled The Disappearing City at 7 p.

Griffioen will speak at the KIA Oct. By contrast, in Detroit he found the wilderness encroaching on the city. I live here. I am raising my family here. I have a responsibility to my neighbors and my community to tell our part of the story honestly. More information: kiarts. Brose says the Art League program committee aims to provide a variety of programs that will appeal to longtime members and newcomers alike.

Besides taking photographs, Jim Griffioen writes a blog called Sweet Juniper, at www. The hardcover, full-color book, which also features Michigan artwork, does not involve a compilation of poems previously published by New Issues. In fact, more than half of the.

But in the final product, common themes do emerge that reflect the geographical and spiritual character of the state. There is some abstract art in the book that could be anyplace not just Michigan. New Issues is planning to print at least 1, copies of the anthology, maybe 2, Kalamazoo Ave.

Details: Some of the featured poets will give readings, and copies of the anthology will be available for purchase. Where: Portage District Library, E. Marquardt Daniel L. Vine St. Noises Off — University Theatre stages this play within a play full of onstage catastrophe and backstage antics, 8 p. Little Women — An adaptation of the classic novel about the tribulations of four sisters during the Civil War, 8 p.

Dickman Road, Springfield. Pride and Prejudice — University Theatre presents this classic novel adapted for the stage with all its desperate spinsters, determined bachelors and nosy neighbors, 8 p. The Addams Family — A macabre musical that brings to life all the characters from the famous television show, p. Kiss of the Spider Woman — Fancy Pants Theater presents this musical about two prisoners, their fantasies and their harsh realities, 8 p.

Kalamazoo Mall. Westnedge Ave. All concerts at p. Kreisler Trio — Using period instruments to perform works by Mozart, Beethoven and more, p. Miscellaneous Sinbad — The actor and comedian returns to his West Michigan roots for this one-man show, 8 p. The Price Is Right Live! Music Without Borders — A concert of global music and Indian dance performed by local groups, 3 p. Milham Ave. Adriane Little: A Very Easy Death — A series of images projected and moving, using literature as a source of visualization, through Oct.

Guests may bring a lunch to these noon sessions. Miscellaneous Art Hop — Works and performances by local artists at venues and galleries in downtown Kalamazoo, p. Abbott and Marianne Houston reading their work, with music provided by John C. Abbott, p. Rose St. In Concert: Andru Bemis — Guitar, banjo and fiddle player, 7 p. Portage District Library, Combat Veterans Writing Group — A semi-monthly workshop for writing poetry, essays or fiction for veterans who have been in combat, p.

Oil and Honey, on climate change, from the impact on local food to the fight against the fossil-fuel industry, 7 p. Safe Halloween — Visit Bronson Park from 11 a. Kalamazoo River Valley Trail Fall Color Cruise — A bicycle cruise for all ages with two out-andback loops, family activities and refreshments, noon-4 p.

Event includes costume contest. Register between and a. Registration fee required; call Gull Lake Drive. Birds and Coffee — A short hike to search for birds, followed by coffee and discussion, a. Birds of Prey Live — Learn about owls and see one up close, 1 p. He did not understand why she coughed up traces of old rose petals. She tried to explain: Side effect of being a hopeless romantic. He stirred more sugar in his coffee and said, But roses do not bloom in the heart, they twist around the brain stem.

Are we there yet? Like bitter fingers they poke through hardened earth bent and hollow now, having given up months ago plump, baby kernels nestled in fine silk. Still, rows flicker by.

Snow like spilled diamonds glitters amongst the broken husks of hands that hold nothing but time, barely rustling the same story.

Perhaps we are. Let us stop for a moment, jump over barbed-wire fencing and run with abandon. Let us say we are here. She gently put down the newspaper and replied, Dear, logic belongs folded in your socks, and we all walk barefoot in our brains.

He brought the mug to his lips and before drinking said, Lovely, you may not wear socks, but I certainly do. She glanced out the window at a neighbor chasing a runaway poodle, then back to her husband.

How can you possibly feel your thoughts with socks on? He blew steam off his coffee and propped a leg on the other knee. The charity event is a celebration of the benefits of clean and sober living and the importance of humor in the recovery process. Past Events. Hit enter to search or ESC to close.

Episode 12 Chasing the News…stone cold sober!