Is it possible to not remember being abused

And then when I learned about how PTSD changes our physical brains and how common it is to have no memory of the abuse only for it to communicate to you through nightmares and other symptoms, I had to learn to trust my feelings instead of my memory. Living with PTSD is like having a switch that can go off in your brain and tell your entire nervous system that you are back in the moment of your trauma.

That switch can go off without recalling any memory of your trauma. You have no control over when the Macarena starts playing, and you have no way to stop yourself from doing the dance. It can play on repeat for a few hours, or it can play for days on end. And my version of doing the Macarena choreography looks like: nightmares, heart racing, stomach cramps, recoiling in my body, fear of closing my eyes, feelings of helplessness, guilt and shame, and my voice gets really quiet.

And most of all, I try to hide these fun and sexy dance moves from the people around me. Even though the abuse has stopped and I am a grown ass woman, my brain is still pulling these fancy moves of blocking new memories of shit that is simply too painful.

How many times did I hear the Macarana and do the moves? I have no clue. It remains one big blur to me. But the biggest downside is the sense of mistrust that it can cause within myself. And, sometimes, the voice calling me those names is my own. Our society demands that survivors have undeniable, and at times impossible, proof of our abuse.

This pressure is in direct conflict with the reality of so many of us, which is that we know the trauma occurred, yet lack any memory as our evidence. What is left is for us to do the very difficult work of training ourselves to trust our feelings, instead of our memories, as our own personal evidence. A few weeks ago, I was talking with a friend who is finishing up her PHD in neuroscience brushes shoulders off. Full disclosure: there were many cocktails involved.

We will notify you as soon as possible. Cases are usually closed hearings so we will not be allowed to sit in. Under local law the victim is entitled to be kept informed at all stages of the progress of the case. A lawyer will help with access to information and in keeping a victim better informed, particularly as all communications will be in Vietnamese. If the case is referred to further investigation a victim may be required to make additional statement if so, requested to by the local authorities.

Under Vietnamese law it is not possible to drop charges once they have been filed if the local authorities believe a crime has been committed. In reality, should a foreigner wish to withdraw a petition for charge it is unlikely that a case would be brought. You would need to make a written letter of withdrawal and submit it to the police or prosecutor asking them to drop the case. It is unlikely that there would be any legal repercussions for the victim.

If a false accusation was proven the law states that the person who made the false accusation is subject to legal liabilities and in such a situation the alleged assailant would be entitled to press counter charges.

There is no government compensation scheme to cover physical or psychological injuries suffered however it is possible to attach a civil claim for compensation to the criminal case.

You will need to speak to a lawyer on how to proceed with this. We can provide a list of English-speaking lawyers if you need one. Compensation would normally be settled at the same time as the case is brought before the criminal court but where there is insufficient evidence to make a judgement on the civil aspect of the case, compensation for any injuries may be separated and dealt with at a later date in accordance with civil case proceedings.

We can provide you with lists of English-speaking medical facilities, lawyers and translators. We may also be able to accompany you to the local hospital. If you are travelling with a tour operator, you can report the incident to them and ask for their assistance. Where possible and if you wish, the tour operator may accompany you to the local hospital. It is possible to report the crime to police in the UK. However, it is for foreign police forces to decide whether to investigate a crime in their jurisdiction.

UK police forces cannot investigate crimes committed overseas. Foreign police forces can decide to request assistance from the UK police, but this cannot be guaranteed and is a very lengthy process. It can therefore be very difficult to guarantee that any justice can be accessed without reporting the crime locally. You may want to let your GP, or a Sexual Assault Referral Centre know what has happened to you so that you can talk about the experience and seek further support and advice.

If you believe you may be at risk of having contracted a sexually-transmitted infection STI , ask your local health provider to test you, even if you have been tested in the country that the assault took place in. For more information, read our advice on returning to the UK after rape and sexual assault abroad.

There are many Rape Crisis Centres throughout the UK that can help provide support and advice if you have suffered from a sexual assault overseas. They also provide support and information to family and friends of sexual violence survivors. Survivors UK supports and provides resources for men who have experienced any form of sexual violence.

More information including the live online support is available on their website. To help us improve GOV. It will take only 2 minutes to fill in. Cookies on GOV. UK We use some essential cookies to make this website work.

Accept additional cookies Reject additional cookies View cookies. Hide this message. Home Going and being abroad British nationals overseas Rape and sexual assault in Vietnam: information for victims. Contents 1. First steps 2. Getting medical treatment 3. A brief summary of what we can do 4. Reporting the incident to the police in Vietnam 5.

Reporting the crime in Vietnam - what happens next? The forensic medical examination — what to expect 7. This is the first time she has talked to the media about her story. For years, she was known only as Jane Doe. As part of the custody evaluation, a forensic evaluation was done. In , to create evidence for court hearings, a psychiatrist called David Corwin filmed interviews with Kluemper. In the video, Kluemper, by then six, is playing with her crayons.

Her dark, curly hair is held back by a pink ribbon, and her smile is missing a front tooth. Behind her are shelves of heavy legal textbooks. She looks into the video camera occasionally, articulate for a small child.

It is only the words that are shocking: a small girl describing how her mother has sexually abused her. Kluemper went to live with her father and stepmother. In fact, she was left with barely any family at all. Her mother had disappeared from her life, and she was not close to her half-brother.

In one year, she moved eight times, ending up in an informal foster home with other kids. There was one constant in the chaos: Corwin. With the assent of Kluemper and her father, Corwin was using the video of Kluemper as part of his training of fellow psychiatrists. He believed this recording was an unusually clear and effective illustration of a child explaining abuse. As a result, Corwin contacted Kluemper occasionally to ensure that she still consented to his use of the recordings.

But over the decades, Kluemper forgot what was actually on the videos. By the age of 16, Kluemper knew the videos existed and that they were being used as training aids, but no longer remembered what they contained.

She contacted Corwin and asked if she could watch them. The request created an ethical dilemma for Corwin.

Eventually, they agreed that they should watch the videos together when he was next in California. Meticulous as always, Corwin filmed Kluemper consenting to watch the videos. On the video, they discuss the situation and suddenly Kluemper appears to remember the abuse.

In a few seconds, she goes from truculent teenager to broken child. There are differences between her description at six and her recall at When she was six, she had referred to repeated assaults. In the later video, she recalls only one episode. At 17, she is less confident that it was deliberate abuse.

Today, Kluemper still looks bewildered at the surge of memories that overtook her so abruptly. Evidence shows that memory can be influenced by other people and situations, that people can make up stories to fill in memory gaps and that people can be persuaded to believe they heard, saw or experienced events that did not really happen. Studies also reveal that people who have inaccurate memories can strongly believe they are true.

Trauma-focused treatments do work, though not all the time and not for every person. It is important for doctors, psychotherapists and other health care providers to begin a treatment plan by taking a complete medical and psychiatric history, including a history of physical and psychological trauma. Knowledge about details of traumatic experiences and some of their possible effects can help professional caregivers formulate a treatment approach that might reduce symptoms and improve daily functioning.

The point of trauma-focused therapy is not to make people remember all the disturbing things that ever happened to them.

People do not need to remember every detail in order to heal. Rather, the goal of psychotherapy is to help people gain authority over their trauma-related memories and feelings so that they can get on with their lives. To do this, people often have to talk in detail about their past experiences. Through talking, they are able to acknowledge the trauma—remember it, feel it, think about it, share it and put it in perspective.

At the same time, to prevent the past from continuing to influence the present negatively, it is vital to focus on the present, since the goal of treatment is to help individuals live healthier, more functional lives in the here and now.

Just as it is harmful for people to believe that something horrible happened to them when nothing did, it is equally harmful for people to believe that nothing happened when something bad did occur.