Why people become reclusive
Being social allows us to hear and see things from other vantage points and helps us to develop an outside perspective on our own experiences. Humans are meant to be social, so a lack of social interaction leads to depressive symptoms in many people. See our guide on how to make friends when having depression. If social anxiety is something that you struggle with, it can be difficult to resist the lure of your couch and slippers. Exercise classes, regardless of your level of fitness, can be an excellent way of meeting new people.
It might be spinning, martial arts, circuits, or yoga — a shared experience and goal to become fit and healthy can create a bond with others as you support each other towards achieving your goal. Art classes, book clubs, cooking classes, and wine tasting groups, are just possible examples of evening activities that could get you out of the house. Check your local university or community college sites to see if they are offering anything that takes your fancy.
Websites like Groupon and LivingSocial are also excellent ways of finding classes and deals in your area. It might have seemed easy to make friends when you were younger. Back then you were probably more sociable, energetic, and keen to meet new people. But, unfortunately, it takes more time and effort to make new friends as an adult. I even once went on a free day silent meditation retreat — not for the meditation, but for the silence. I loved my room.
Being there behind a locked door was a treat. To me a punishment was being ordered to play Yahtzee with my cousin Louis. Asocial tendencies like these are often far from ideal. In the UK, the Royal College of General Practitioners says that loneliness has the same risk level for premature death as diabetes. Strong social connections are important for cognitive functioning , motor function and a smoothly running immune system. Abundant research shows the harms of social isolation Credit: Getty Images.
This is especially clear from cases of extreme social isolation. Examples of people kept in captivity, children kept isolated in abusive orphanages, and prisoners kept in solitary confinement all show how prolonged solitude can lead to hallucinations and other forms of mental instability. But these are severe and involuntary cases of aloneness.
For those of us who just prefer plenty of alone time, emerging research suggests some good news: there are upsides to being reclusive — for both our work lives and our emotional well-being.
One key benefit is improved creativity. One personality trait associated with creativity is independence — which can include a preference for being alone Credit: Getty Images.
Find creative ways to shop. If you want to become particularly reclusive, you may be hesitant to leave your home even for things like grocery and clothes shopping. If this is the case, find creative ways to stay at home. In the modern world, almost everything you need can be ordered online. Clothing, books, food, and other items can be ordered from websites like Amazon. You may cringe at the delivery fees, but remember you're staying home most of the time.
If you don't want to order everything online, consider avoiding people in other ways. You could shop during hours of the day where stores are unlikely to be crowded. For example, try going clothes shopping at 1 o'clock in the afternoon on a weekday. As most people are working, you may be less likely to run into other people. Stay connected to some people. If you want to be a recluse, you may feel you have to cut people out of your life entirely. However, this is not the case. In fact, a reclusive lifestyle may not be sustainable if you cut out all your friends and social contacts.
Strong relationships can help you feel more secure about spending time alone. Even if you enjoy spending time alone, it's important to be able to have someone to call if you need it. Everyone needs support on occasion. In the event of a major emergency or setback, you should be able to have at least one person to rely on for support. Spend more time talking to friends and family members. Be willing to share intimate secrets to your social contacts.
If you have a few very close friends, you'll feel more secure in the fact your solitude is a choice rather than a necessity. Manage stress.
If you're going to be spending a lot of time alone, stress management is important. Troubling thoughts may be harder to avoid if you have a lot of time to yourself. As stated, have someone you can call in the event you are feeling very stressed or down. You do not have to socialize frequently if you don't want to, but having at least a few contacts for social support is important. Practice stress-reducing activities, like meditation, deep breathing, and yoga.
Exercise regularly. Having a regular exercise regimen can help you manage negative emotions. Strive for minutes of moderate aerobic activity a week or 75 minutes of intense aerobic activity.
Method 3. Consider your mental health. Being reclusive has many benefits. However, a tendency to avoid social situations can be a symptom of an underlying mental health disorder. Cutting yourself off from others can increase feelings of depression, anxiety, and isolation. If you feel sad, anxious, or otherwise unhappy most of the time, make an appointment with a mental health professional for assessment.
You can find a therapist by asking your regular doctor for a referral. You can also find a list of providers in your network through your insurance. If you're a college student, you may be entitled to free counseling through your university.
Stay away from mindless consumption. Mindless consumption is common if you're spending a lot of time alone. Without social events as a distraction, you may overeat, binge watch television, or play video games for hours.
This can stave off some of the positive benefits of solitude. You won't consider the deeper questions if you're constantly immersed in a video game world, for example. Sometimes it could be because of safety. By guarding yourself against violent criminals, terrorists or even a pandemic can cause somebody to feel grief, anxiety and fear.
Sometimes somebody might simply not have the funds to interact socially and then decide to rather stay at home instead of going out to spend money that they just do not have. Even that feeling of inadequacy could cause you to withdraw from society. Some might have the fear of being ridiculed or rejected which could cause them to withdraw and avoid people in general.
Have you ever experienced a time in school when you waited anxiously to be called to play on a side during or after school? Did you start to doubt your abilities? Other times could purely be for privacy and comfort reasons. It could be that life and other people become mere distractions.
Whatever they keep themselves busy with will have according to their own thoughts and feelings a significant influence on the world and the people that inhabits it. But do not think that reclusive people sit around doing nothing, sit in a catatonic state or is necessarily lonely or sad. Most reclusive people are very productive, they could be writing, creating or working towards a personal goal.
They feel content and happy. Some reclusive people, on the other hand, could suffer from depression or anxiety. It could be that their depression has developed over a long period of time or that their anxiety is reinforced by events that they witness or hear about and this prevents them from venturing outside where they might feel unsafe, insignificant or exposed to uncontrollable factors.
We are encouraged by Government to maintain social distancing and although this may provide relief to people with social anxiety, a lack of interaction could maintain this social anxiety extremely negatively.
There are so many worries, like worrying about health and safety, worrying about access to food and supplies, worrying about financial stability and on top of that the feeling of loneliness and isolation. Basically, at the end of the day, humans are social animals.
We have a desire to connect and be accepted by others.