What should my sisters call me

Not about some fantasy wedding Mom wished she had with Dad. Lucas reached over to grab hold of me, his hand warm and reassuring on my leg.

About the food, anyway. We were engaged. To be married. Because Nora was nothing if not prepared. I felt the strangest urge to apologize for the possibility that I might want control over my own wedding. But then, hers had turned out to be a disaster, despite the kind of planning that would have done Napoleon proud. We all knew better than to engage. The season in question was not winter, which was likely endless, but the more finite Philadelphia Second Symphony Orchestra concert season, which finished in late May.

Now I was discussing my engagement party and feelings on elopement. With a straight face. The thought was appealing. She was sliding into full-on lecturer mode. Sometimes I forgot she was only thirty-six, a mere eight years older than me, because she could sound as old as the hills.

Lucas hated potatoes. With unnecessary derision, I felt. Or stuck one of the serving knives into her. Having never met my colorful, estranged sister, he was intrigued by all the drama that was kicked up any time her name was mentioned. As was I, to be honest.

Raine was nothing if not fascinating. Phil never said much, so we all stared at him and took in the uncharacteristic outburst.

He was as likely to be considering the effects of gravity as he was to be thinking about whatever was going on in front of him, but even he had a strong opinion about Raine. Everybody did. None of us have spoken to her since, have we? Norah seemed to deflate. She cut a piece of chicken, and then toyed with it on her plate. She forked up some stewed carrots, and chewed them with every appearance of calm.

All this time, I assumed none of us even knew where she was! Certainly not dessert. His words turned into puffs of smoke against the night air.

We could have celebrated ourselves and then called everybody, like everyone else in the world. But no, I had to be different. Later that night, Lucas was asleep in the big queen bed that took up most of the bedroom in our cozy two-bedroom apartment, and I got up to feed our obnoxious matching pair of tabby cats, Felix and Felicia. For a year. I shoved Norah and her pronouncements out of my mind as the cats rushed at me and twined themselves around my ankles.

They were always up to something, and were often completely psychotic for no apparent reason. Which was to say, they were perfect little cats. Before I got there, though, my eye was caught by my cello and stand in the bay window of the living room. I flexed my left hand a little bit, and felt the familiar wash of guilt and panic. I should have spent the day practicing instead of celebrating. Lucas, who worked at home, running his Internet Security business, claimed he loved listening to me practice while he put out fires and slapped down hackers.

Which was good, since I did so several hours a day. I would have to buckle down the next morning, which meant I should get to sleep. The Book Report Network. Skip to main content.

Names My Sisters Call Me. Megan Crane Biography Bibliography. Jul 09, Ruth rated it liked it. Courtney and her fiancee Lucas sit down to uncomfortable weekly dinners at her sister's house.

Courtney, her sister Norah and her mom are a dysfunctional family, if there ever was one. Their other sister, Raine caused a huge ruckus at Norah's wedding ruining the day after which she and her good friend since childhood, Matt ran off.

They haven't spoken in six years but during one of their tense dinners, Courtney discovers that her mom has been in contact with Raine during all this time. More than Courtney and her fiancee Lucas sit down to uncomfortable weekly dinners at her sister's house.

More than anything, Courtney would like to have her entire family healed and on speaking terms for her wedding. When Lucas has a work trip to San Francisco, Courtney goes with him so that she can look up her sister and start to mend the fences between them.

When Raine decides to come back east and reunite with the family old wounds are reopened, secrets are revealed and Courtney learns things about herself and her family that would not have happened if Raine had not returned and Lucas had forced her to take a hard look at what was going on around her. When I read a review of this book I was intrigued by the dynamics between the sisters and looked forward to reading the story. I found the plot to be an average one, hence the 3 star rating. The story was slow moving and did not call to me to return to find out what was going to happen next.

Crane did create very believable characters, however, and did an outstanding job depicting a dysfunctional family. The mother in the story will make you cringe. You keep waiting for her to step up to the plate and quite living in another world where she appears to be on the outside looking in rather than as an active participant. Oct 11, Aishwariya Laxmi rated it it was ok.

But now that I have finished it, I'm a little underwhelmed. What made me put this author on my TBR list and keep her on it for close to eight years? I doubt if I would react to it the same way now. I certainly am not going to try to re-read it. It is the story of three sisters, one a 'free spirit', another a 'control freak' and the third a self-loathing cellist.

The cellist gets engaged and then decides to bring about a family reunion. Her freespirited sister had created a scene at the control freak sister's wedding six years ago and took off with the cellist's boyfriend. After that they have remained estranged ever since.

She has a best friend who keeps warning her against the ex, and somehow in the end she has an epiphany when she "realises" that all her longing for her ex is 'coz her dad took off on them when she was a child in the womb. Also turns out her sisters are jealous of her. This seemed to me like a book written by someone who has done Psychology as an elective subject, who decided to put the most predictable issues into her book.

Quite a yawn, but I persisted with it and finished the book. It's a very average read and hardly funny. Aug 10, Damini rated it it was ok Shelves: , lockdown. I dove into this book because I needed a palette cleanser before moving back into my usual genre. Why am I writing a review for a book I never intended to take seriously? No idea. That's how little thought out the plot seemed to be. I'm glad I did so with this intention. There really are no other redeeming factors.

It's a light book - in typical YA-for-adults fashion there really is no depth to the various epiphanies our protagonist seems to be getting. The feuds are very teenage-like, and I'm not I dove into this book because I needed a palette cleanser before moving back into my usual genre. The feuds are very teenage-like, and I'm not even sure if the breakthrough that they all get is in fact even that shocking; it's being repeated since page one.

Go ahead if you want to read something that doesn't take much attention or intellect. Dec 29, Jules rated it liked it Shelves: chick , lit.

This book kept drawing me in all the way through. While it seemed that several of the scenes played out similarly I continued to want to know what happened with all the characters and their interactions with each other.

The characters felt real and their strengths and failings felt genuine too. I found the story very relateable even without having sisters myself. I could very much relate to Courtney's situation with both her fiance and her ex-boyfriend.

The ending felt real and the resolution re This book kept drawing me in all the way through. The ending felt real and the resolution realistic. May 28, Sue Lauzon rated it liked it. The book was good but not spectacular. Can you say dysfunctional family?? Makes my family look like a walk in the park I have a lot more sisters and two brothers!! May 02, Ellie rated it it was ok. This is a light, easy-read even for a chick-lit book.

When the main character gets engaged to an awesome guy, she tries to mend her relationship with her sister s so her big happy family can all attend her engagement party together. There's a lot of growing up in this book for a woman who is already in her late 20s and I wish that the protagonist in this story got a backbone much sooner.

I think it would've been a much more enjoyable story. Dec 01, Cheryl rated it liked it Shelves: chick-lit , fiction , women , reread , family. I'd give this 3. I really enjoy Megan Crane's writing and characters. The characters are believable and relatable, with faults you can understand.

I enjoyed this book but Courtney and her sisters all had very cliched roles. There was also too much cello. Verena was my favorite character and not prominent enough. May 23, Christina rated it really liked it Shelves: standalone , love-triangle , first-person-pov , library , reviewed , chick-lit. This is another one of my. I did enjoy it otherwise. Jun 18, Aimee Shaffer rated it liked it.

This was a nice summer chick-lit read. I enjoyed Crane's character development. At times I wanted to shake the main character and try to bring her to her senses. But maybe that was the point? Meanwhile, your initial need is well gone on the pile of unfinished conversations that seems to grow bigger by the day. We all get it wrong sometimes but toxic people will make sure you know it. You can always say no to unnecessary crazy.

Be confident and own your own faults, your quirks and the things that make you shine. My toxic ex uses everything I say against me and says and does very cruel things. He never apologizes or takes responsibility for his abuse. Now, he is doing nice things for my daughter and contacting her behind my back which is putting a wedge between my daughter and me. I have told him whatever correspondence he has it can go through me and have blocked his number from her cell phone.

They text each other 8 times yesterday? All because he got her concert tickets. Oh I really feel for you — this is such a difficult situation. The most important thing above everything is to keep your relationship with your daughter intact. Kids will always want to see the best in their parents because they are a part of them. It seems to be that way with people generally — the more we push against someone, the harder they push back against us. Again, this all depends on whether or not his relationship with her is a positive one.

Try and see her relationship with him as separate to his relationship with you. I expect he is a very different man with her to the one he is with you. Hold tight though, kids see things for what they are eventually. Your daughter is very lucky to have you. I think that everyone has a little of each in them, and when they deny it they are only lying to themselves. I absolutely agree — we can all do a little bit of all of them.

I think we all exist on a spectrum — it comes with being human! I am really having a hard time with my daughter-in-law that is continually trying to gain the upper hand with me. Then I cry or try to defend myself. The worse part is that she is pulling my son away. I understand that she is first in his life. It was much easier when they lived away. Wow, this was written about my daughter, as a matter of fact she is keeping my 3yr old granddaughter from me 3rd time in 3 yrs. All I did was ask about Easter this year.

She will not us my little one as a pawn!! I hope you are able to find a way through and that there comes to be some sort of resolution for everyone. She is the baby and even after 3 marriages and 4 children she still talks like a baby to my parents to get her own way.

She lies manipulates, steels from my parents screams at them and curses. She talks bad behind my back makes up horrible things and they kind of believe her. She is a disgrace but my parents have always given her money, excuses they pretend she is bi polar but she is not, they are enablers, she breaks the law, and when my mom passed she signed my moms checks and took her bonds and cashed it all in..

Well she is still out there making up stories about all of us, goes from one boyfriend to another and my dad still favoring her.. I want to walk away, I have nothing to do with her unless shes at my dads when i visit i am cordial but I think she should be held accountable for her actions. This reminds me of a co-worker ,She just quit ,she blamed covid It was the happiest day if my life.

I learned a lot from you Sandy or Sandra. Thank You!!! Always see it as yours when it comes to children. That has helped me a lot. I think labelling people is never a good approach i. This position robs you of an opportunity to explore your own role in the relationship, however small it might be. Exploring your own role gives you some clues about what personal growth you can work on.

If I cast my mind back, I felt pressured to do something she was excited about so I avoided phone calls and delayed making a decision. So, I can see I have some work to do around speaking up for myself and reducing my fear of upsetting people. Perhaps by doing this, I exposed some sort of need or vulnerability in her and she was trying to protect herself? Or is it the projection thing you mention in the article? If people are behaving in the ways described above, perhaps it gives some clues about the pain within them we all have pain and wounds that sometimes control how we behave in the world.

Boundaries in relationships are essential. Boundaries with compassion are ideal. I think the world needs more compassion less labelling. We are all guilty of doing any or all of these 12 things some of the time. What makes people toxic is the degree and the regularity of what they do, coupled with an absence of insight, remorse or concern for their impact on people. Toxic people generally land in relationships with people who are constantly assessing and adjusting their own behaviour to make the relationship better — constantly.

BUT — if you do most things on the list most of the time, as well as other behaviours that serve to constantly undermine the friendship, then that may be headed to the toxic end of the spectrum. Being in a relationship — be it family, friends or the people we fall in love with — always involves letting our guard come down little by little. It involves being open and vulnerable to the other person.

We are open to their love, their trust, their respect, their appreciation, their wisdom. We are also vulnerable to their potential to hurt us. We all have our scars and our bruises and we have to hope that the people we have chosen to be close to will treat our scars and bruises with love, dignity and respect. Toxic people take that opening up and vulnerability and they do damage.

We are all fighting our own battles. Having said all of this, I deeply respect your opinions. The are wise, insightful and compassionate. Thank you for taking the time to share them. I strongly agree with you, sing sing. Reading many of the comments here, there seems to be an overwhelming tendency for people to see themselves as the victim in their relationships with others.

We are all flawed and have a natural bias that allows us to see more clearly where others have wronged us but not necessarily where we have been wrong. There are certainly plenty of people out there who will lie, manipulate, and take advantage of others to the extent possible. Healthy boundaries are necessary for every relationship. However, if you find yourself repeatedly in relationships with so-called toxic people, you might want to remember that the one common factor in all those relationships is you.

True for toxic friendships or relationships where the cost of leaving is less than the cost of staying, but sometimes the toxic person is a parent, a sibling, a family member, a step-child, or an ex-spouse with whom the relationship has to be maintained on some level because of shared parenting.

It really depends on the nature of the relationship and the cost involved in leaving. I have a very toxic relationship with my ex-husband. We have two children together, and have been divorced for over 10 years.

He is a full fledged narcissist, contradicts himself, bullies, manipulates. Undermines my authority, involves the kids in adult situations, and then when they ask questions he says its none of their business. I have a better idea. Just an idea! This is me, not all of it but most of it.

Communication becomes manipulative or non-existent, and they are masterful forming relationships with people who will always want the best for the people they love, so will bend and twist for the sake of the relationship. Meanwhile, the toxic person contributes nothing. The second hardest step is staying changed — there might be the occasional two steps forward one step back.

Sometimes there might be three steps back. The main this is you keep moving forward and not be discouraged by the times you fall a little.

I know you can change. I know you can do this. Thank you so much for this article. I have had several toxic relationships, people who mistake kindness for weakness.

The most current toxic relationship is a friend who I was close to, but he wanted to become more than friends and I am married. So when I turned him down, his ego got stepped on and he started becoming manipulative, making me feel guilty over my decisions, etc.

I started to question my own better judgement. I decided today actually before I even read the article that there really is no room for this person in my life. Why keep going back and trying to make this friendship work. I will continue to pray for him, because God requires us to love all people, enemies included. I wish him well. Bless you for the article, it was extremely helpful! Too often people mistake kindness for weakness, but the kindest people I know have been some of the strongest.

You have wonderful insight, so let that continue to strengthen you. Thank you for sharing this. You never know else who will get strength from your story. Thank you for this article. It is very helpful… it breaks my heart to say I have a toxic daughter-in-law and I am at a loss on how to deal with her.

As I learn from articles such as this one I think I will be better equipped to weather the storm… and to be there for my son and two granddaughters… if they should need me. The most important thing is not to say anything bad about your daughter in law in front of them even if what you are saying is true! One of the way toxic people do so much damage is by dividing people by pitting one against the other. It sounds like you already are. They are very lucky to have you.

I am going through this after a friendship at home. I did everything for him. I was used. Caught in lies no communication for two months. Left me the day after mini stroke.

I paid his medical. I paid for his DUI treatment through medical, supported him for almost three years. Now its been three months and he just up and left and moved in with I suspect with another younger girl.