Is it normal to be annoyed by your parents

They might express disappointment when you do something they disagree with, and this disappointment might come with consequences. For example:.

Wanting emotional support from your parents is typical. Even during times of conflict, you still need to know you have their love. Some research suggests, in fact, that regular parental warmth can help offset the effects of conflict or disagreements.

You might feel unloved when irritation and disappointment are the only emotions they offer, or their warmth and affection seems to depend on your behavior. Your parents are humans — they have needs and emotions, too. They might snap at you after a rough day, or heave an enormous sigh and stalk off when they wanted to relax, but you need a last-minute ride to the store. Mental health concerns and other challenges can also keep parents and children from bonding securely.

These attachment issues can persist through development and also carry forward into each new generation. If your parents grew up receiving inconsistent affection, they might not know how to offer the consistent affection you need. You can learn more about recognizing and addressing attachment issues here. A surplus of restrictions or criticism can lead to frustration and resentment, no matter how lovingly your parents intend this guidance.

You might try to explain why you find specific rules or comments about your interests so annoying. Still, practicing new communication techniques can often lead to more successful conversations. During late adolescence and early adulthood, you may have very little in common with your parents.

If you almost never agree and hardly do anything together, you could easily begin to feel a little rejected or unloved. Cultivating some common ground and improving your relationship can be as simple as pursuing a shared interest. It may take time to find something you both enjoy, but the effort usually pays off. Spending more time together can provide more opportunities for communication and help you appreciate more about each other.

If your parents seem to prefer a sibling , you might begin to doubt their love for you. They might not be playing favorites on purpose. They aren't used to the new you yet — they only know you as the kid who had everything decided for you and didn't mind. In most families, it's this adjustment that can cause a lot of fighting between teens and parents.

You want to cover your walls with posters; they don't understand why you don't like your kiddie wallpaper anymore. You think it's OK to hang at the mall every day after school; they would rather that you play a sport.

Clashes like these are very common between teens and parents — teens get angry because they feel parents don't respect them and aren't giving them space to do what they like, and parents get angry because they aren't used to not being in control or they disagree with the teens' decisions. It's easy for feelings to get very hurt when there are conflicts like these.

And more complicated issues — like the types of friends you have or your attitudes about sex and partying — can cause even bigger arguments, because your parents will always be intent on protecting you and keeping you safe, no matter how old you are. The good news about fighting with your parents is that in many families the arguing will lessen as parents get more comfortable with the idea that their teen has a right to certain opinions and an identity that may be different from theirs.

It can take several years for parents and teens to adjust to their new roles, though. In these cases, it is often essential to temporarily or permanently cut ties with that individual. If you are still living with your family, this step often requires planning and practical considerations.

Finances, housing, moving, and other factors are all things you will need to plan for if you want to create a physical separation and gain greater privacy and independence.

Healing unhealthy relationships with family members is also an option. This is a step you may take if the relationship is important to you and you feel that trust, communication, and positive feelings can be reestablished.

This is a step that requires the participation of all of the people who are involved. According to research by Stand Alone, a UK organization that supports adults who are estranged from their families, having time to process painful emotions is essential.

Rather than pressuring people who may be estranged, it is perhaps best to let them have the time and space to heal before attempting a reconciliation. If you are interested in feeling better about your relationships with your family members, consider asking them to try family therapy. By working with a therapist, you may be able to improve communication and gain insight that may help you feel better about your relationship with them.

Having a clear boundary with family members who are causing you stress or discontent can help you better exist as an individual within your family unit. Setting boundaries with family can be difficult, however, because it is from our families where we typically learn these limits.

It can be hard to recognize an unhealthy boundary if that is all that you have ever known. Love Is Respect, a national resource that focuses on preventing unhealthy relationships and reducing intimate partner violence explains that paying attention to how you feel in different situations can help you learn more about your boundaries.

If you want to maintain a relationship with family members, set limits on these interactions when possible. For example, you might choose to spend time with them once or twice a month. If certain topics are creating conflicts with your family, make it clear that those subjects are off-limits during your interactions. Establishing these boundaries can help you feel more empowered and in control of your relationship with your family. Tactics such as detaching yourself from the situation or intentionally keeping details about your life private may help.

If family members pry into your life or use things they learn against you, look for ways to change the subject when certain topics come up. When necessary, be direct and simply state that you'd prefer not to talk about the topic. Every situation is different, but in some cases, you might decide to end your relationship with family members. This is a highly personal decision and is often best made if you have had some time and distance to get some perspective on your experiences.

Research suggests that family estrangement is not uncommon. In one study, Talking to a friend may be helpful, but you might also consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional. A therapist can help you evaluate the factors that have led you to this step and then offer advice about how to best proceed.

Research suggests that reconciling after an estrangement can be particularly difficult, particularly for adult children estranged from their parents. While cutting ties can be stressful, research suggests that there can be positive effects as well. Feeling like you don't like your family can be an extremely difficult emotion to handle.

If you feel this way, developing social connections outside of your family can help you find a healthier support system and gain perspective and distance from toxic family members. Strategies such as distancing yourself from the situation, setting boundaries, or working to mend unhealthy relationships may be beneficial for your mental well-being. If a relationship is doing more harm than good, then it is often a good idea to significantly reduce or completely cut off contact with the other person or people.

If you are experiencing emotional distress, anxiety, depression, or other symptoms as a result of your dislike for your family, reach out to a professional for help. You might start by talking to a mental health professional who can help. Online therapy can also be a helpful option that you might want to consider. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Coleman J. Collins; Hidden Voices: Family Estrangement in Adulthood. Contributions of attachment theory and research: a framework for future research, translation, and policy.

Dev Psychopathol. Curr Opin Psychol. Stand Alone. Family estrangement: advice and information for adult children.