Why funerals are sad

Because grief is a normal reaction to death or tragedy, and we're told there are 5 stages of grief People get stuck emotionally around death, especially around unexpected death, and sad music helps them express their grief and move through toward acceptance.

Funeral services didn't get designed that way by accident, they evolved slowly over the years. Close family members used to be formally mourned for a year, but in today's fast paced world you're expected to suck it up and be back in the office in the morning. Sad music, and all that sobbing, actually helps people get back on their feet more quickly. We did a memorial service for my dad as a comedy roast, and it was a great way to embrace acceptance and celebrate his life.

But we did it a month after his death, once the sadness had some time to subside. Originally Posted by RomaniGypsy. Maybe so, and I figure some people will cry at mine Instead, do what it takes to meet me there. That's what I want the mood of my funeral to be. I am from a very large family and have a zillion friends, so I've been to way too many funerals in my day.

Some of the funerals were very close in time to one another, and I became very tired of hearing the traditional Catholic funeral hymns like "On Eagles' Wings" or "Be Not Afraid". Obviously my funeral has not been held yet as I write this , but I decided to use those same songs for my mother's recent funeral. The problem was, no one really sang along -- perhaps my family don't regularly sing along in church, or maybe the hymns were too obscure they were hymns I loved when I attended church regularly in the 80's and 90's.

I was a little disappointed in that, as I had been to a friend's funeral last year where everyone enthusiastically sang along. I did accede to "Ave Maria" because I knew my Mom loved it, but unfortunately, the soloist and organist didn't seem to be on the same page so it sounded kind of off. But now I'm funeral-ed out and have no interest in planning my own funeral, much less being a control freak about the details like songs. Simple cremation is fine with me.

Originally Posted by OpenD. I get the sentiment, and I appreciate your belief system It's just a natural human emotion that cuts across all cultures. And those who are grieving may or may not share your beliefs, but they will want to move through their sadness.

They may believe you have gone to a better place, they may believe you have gone to a worse place, or they may even believe that you have simply gone. But in every case they will want to be relieved from their grief, and that's what a funeral ceremony should provide Another way to stop yourself from crying is to blink rapidly. If you open your eyes wide, you can cut off the flow of tears before they start.

Your tears come from your tear ducts. Tears are stored near the corner of your eyes and the side of your nose. If you pinch the bridge of your nose, you can stop the production of tears. However, taking a few moments to focus on something pleasant is a welcome distraction. Think of a happy day, person, or memory. Your goal here is to take yourself out of this sad moment. Giving yourself a short break is sometimes all you need to stop those tears in their tracks.

Have you ever felt that lump in your throat when you felt tears coming? This lump is a normal bodily reaction. However, to soothe this feeling and distract yourself, sip water slowly. Taking sips gets rid of that dreaded lump in your throat feeling. Focus on something mundane, like a wall or an ordinary object.

This short reprieve might be all you need to help you calm down. Your handbag, jewelry, clothing, or even someone else nearby can all be good options to prevent crying. Finally, knowing what to expect at a funeral can ease your feelings as well. Having an idea of what will be happening, whether there will be an open casket, and so on, is the best way to prepare yourself.

How do you know what to expect? Research funeral customs, cultural practices, and religious traditions. Aside from this, you can also ask the family hosting the funeral what the service will be like. There is usually a service program for the funeral process.

Finally, remind yourself that crying at a funeral is a natural part of the grieving process. In fact, some cultures include crying as part of the wake etiquette. Crying for the deceased is often thought of as a sign of respect to the person and the family. If you need help embracing your feelings, try these steps. Funerals are a chance to lean on each other and come closer together. It enables those who unite here to embrace the gifts of others as part of our own future.

Why do we have funerals? It seems so sad and uncomfortable. It is: A family reunion A walk down memory lane A community gathering A museum of a time now immortal A funeral is, in a large sense, a reaffirmation of our importance to each other. Search for:.