What should maid of honor do
Meet the Expert. Ahead, you'll find a list of all the maid of honor responsibilities a bride may expect of you before the wedding and during it. Take a peek below, and get ready for the experience of a lifetime.
Maid of honor is a big job, and it starts long before the wedding day—pretty much the minute you're asked. Here's what you need to do in the months leading up to the main event.
After being asked, the maid of honor should initiate a conversation with the bride to discuss how best she can support her during the wedding-planning process. Be open about personalities and decide if the bride will delegate and ask for help or if the maid of honor should periodically check in and offer support without being prompted. Discuss the level of involvement and support upfront and be mindful of relationships the bride may need to navigate with family," Krug says.
While your primary responsibility to the bride is to lend an extra set of hands, don't forget to pencil in some fun, too. From an afternoon spent getting mani-pedis to a full-blown girls' night out, the bride is first and foremost your best friend, and that's the role you should take most seriously during the planning process.
Before kicking off any planning for the bachelorette party or bridal shower, have a chat with the other bridesmaids to see how much they can afford to spend on these events. Don't assume they'll be able to cover the costs after you already have a girls' getaway to Cancun scheduled in the books. Ah, wedding dress shopping , perhaps the most anticipated event aside from the ceremony itself. Help the bride say "yes" to the dress by accompanying her to dress fittings and providing her with your honest opinion.
As she travels from fitting room to fitting room, offer to help zip her up and hang dresses back on their hangers. The last thing you want is to find out your dress won't arrive by the wedding day. Be sure to order it as soon as you can so that it arrives early for alterations and quality time in your closet. Absorb as much wedding information as you can, and let the other bridesmaids, the bride's family members, and even guests turn to you with any questions they may have.
This will save the bride a lot of time and the stress of responding to text messages and emails about where and when events are taking place. Before deciding when and where the bridal shower and bachelorette party will be, ask the bride for a list of dates she's available.
Then send out an online survey to the bridal party, so you can gauge when the most people will be available to attend. Connect all the other bridesmaids with an email icebreaker that introduces each of you and includes everyone's contact information. That way, everyone can get a taste of who's who before the bachelorette party comes around. As the maid of honor, you'll be in charge of maintaining peace among the bridal party.
On top of that, you'll be assigning tasks concerning any pre-wedding events and answering any questions the bridesmaids may have regarding the wedding-day itinerary.
Let the bridesmaids know they can come to you directly with any questions, comments, or concerns, and then you can jot them down, filter the ones you can answer out, and bring the rest to the bride when she has less on her plate.
Does the bride need help addressing wedding invitations or DIY-ing her centerpieces or favors? Volunteer to help by planning a wedding DIY craft night, complete with her favorite bubbly. Get ready to lead the charge when it comes to planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party. From reaching out to family members and bridesmaids to helping with the nitty-gritty of planning and keeping everyone's budgets in mind, you'll quickly become the bonafide expert party planner during the wedding process.
Don't feel pressure to create an event just to be social media worthy," Krug says. For every wedding event you attend, bring along a pack of bridesmaid essentials like Advil, Band-Aids, hair ties, safety pins, and other last-minute mini-emergency items that are frequently needed.
If the bride decides to open gifts at her bridal shower, you'll want to be sure to keep track of who gave her what. Some brides opt to have only family members give speeches at their receptions.
Others forgo speeches entirely. As the maid of honor, you should always be game to deliver a speech —and not embarrass her during it. Start jotting down ideas months before the wedding and then spend a few weeks before the big day finessing it and putting everything together.
One of the final things the bride will have on her to-do list is coming up with a reception playlist. If there are bridesmaids who live far away, then consider planning a special bridal party activity while everyone is in town for the bridal shower, instead, such as a dinner, wine-tasting trip or spa day.
Another great way to get the ladies involved is to ask for their help planning the bridal shower or bachelorette party.
Although it's always most useful to have someone at the helm, steering the event, it's also important to delegate aspects of the preparation. If one of the ladies is a great baker, have her take the lead on the dessert bar. A craft-savvy attendant can create a fun gift-opening backdrop.
Not only does this help everyone feel included but a lot more can be accomplished together as a team. Traditionally, the maid of honor is responsible for organizing the bachelorette party , booking any reservations and coordinating with the bridal party. Along these lines, it's customary for the maid of honor to collect funds for the party from all of the bridesmaids, understanding that not everyone may be able to contribute equally.
If it's an out-of-town excursion, then it's necessary to touch base with the bride before setting firm plans, especially if the pooled funds don't cover the entire cost of the trip. Regardless of where you decide to throw a bachelorette party, it's a good idea to work out all of the travel, food, lodging, and activity logistics with the bridal party in advance.
That way, the bride can just focus on having fun. Whether you opt for a low-key local hotspot, a soothing spa retreat or a wild and crazy destination, it will be a time full of wonderful memories for the bride and her best friends!
There are going to be times when your friend might go on and on about the dress, the guest list, the cake, etc. It's crucial to serve as a sounding board and a person that she can trust and come to for advice. However, it's equally important to help the bride keep calm and not get completely swept away by the planning process. You're probably already aware of all the bride's looming wedding appointments and deadlines but when was the last time that the two of you just watched a silly movie or chatted about celebrity gossip?
It's okay to take a breather and just enjoy girl time without any wedding talk. Photo Credit: Zweckerhill Photography via Lover. If you think scheduling one dress fitting is tough, imagine adding on six other ladies all living in different cities! Take control of helping everyone plan their hair appointments and making sure that everyone has the proper shoes, jackets, nail polish color, etc.
The bride will be beyond grateful to have someone else managing all of these small details. Some of my favorite maids of honor that I've worked with have been those who manage all of the correspondence between the bride and bridal party regarding the wedding timeline, pre-wedding parties and general responsibilities.
From the bride's perspective, it's a tremendous relief to know that they have someone else they can go to with an emergency or question. Another benefit of this secret communication is that you can arrange a few surprises for the bride throughout this process! For example, I know maids of honor who have hired a photographer for the bridal shower or treated the bride to an in-room massage on the morning of the big day.
Photo Credit: Carrie Wildes Photography. One of the parts that maids of honor fear most about their role is delivering a speech at the wedding. Although public speaking can be daunting, this is an opportunity to make it treasurable for the bride.
My best advice is not to wing it, even if you think you can pull it off! At the very least, jot down key points that you can refer to throughout your speech so that you stay on topic.
MOHs tend to be the point person, conveying the bride's instructions or requests to the rest of the bridesmaids. Once you've accepted MOH duty, it's a good idea to have a conversation about how much help the bride will want.
This will ensure you're on the same page as far as her expectations go. Some brides are comfortable handling most things themselves, while others rely heavily on their wedding party to tackle their wedding to-dos. Once that ring is on your best friend's finger, the chain of events is set in motion.
There are typically several celebrations leading up to the big day, and as maid of honor your involvement in each may vary. You'll find that engagement parties are usually thrown by the bride's parents, but other family members or friends can also step in.
While the maid of honor isn't expected to host, you should plan on being there to help kick off the wedding excitement. Planning the BACH bash is one of the most important maid of honor duties.
Check in with the bride about what she's envisioning and suggest party ideas, especially if you need to consider a particular budget for the group. Then, take the lead on researching options, booking accommodations and activities, coordinating with all the bridesmaids and BFFs, brainstorming hashtag ideas , and all of the other bachelorette must-dos. This is another situation where a mother, other relative, or family friend may offer to host.
However, in many cases, the maid of honor organizes this event as well. If that's the case, you might be able to rely on the bride's close friends to help you with the heavy lifting. Either way, you should be in attendance and keep track of the list of gifts so the bride will be able to send thank-you notes.
You're off the hook for the plans on this one, but as a member of the wedding party you'll be expected to attend. What does a maid of honor do when it comes to assisting the bride during all of the nuptial prep? Wedding planning comes with a big to-do list, and the bride might call on you to check off a variety of tasks. Be prepared to help your bestie find the gown of her dreams by going to bridal shop appointments with her — there might be some champagne and cake in it for you too!
Wedding dress shopping is a big moment, and she'll be looking to you for input. Just be careful of being too critical. Let the bride share her opinion on each selection before weighing in to avoid any hurt feelings. Once the bride babe says yes to the dress, she'll need to have it fitted to her measurements. Accompanying her to dress fittings is a great way to provide support, and you can learn from the alterations person how to bustle the dress which will come in handy on the big day.
Bridesmaids dresses are another big thing to tackle during this time.