Is it normal for my brother to touch me

I'm 20 as well. It messed me up a lot. My parents chose to ignore it and just ground him for a while. My sister told me to "get over it" and that it was nothing because it happens to other girls all the time. That traumatized me just as much this is called secondary trauma, and it studies show that it can be as harmful as the abuse itself.

Thankfully he stopped doing it. I'm just about to move out, and I think it'll make the world of difference. I started therapy once I wasn't protected under the children's act, because I still stupidly feel loyalty for my brother and wouldn't want him arrested. I wish you all the luck in the world. PM me if you need to talk Even if it only happens once, it is abuse because it was against your own will.

You were abused and I am so sorry you had to go through this expecially knowing your parents knew and did nothing to stop it.

You have the power to choose where your life will go eventually and how you will deal with these events. The most common perpetrator of sexual abuse is either a family member or a close friend of the family.

Sexual abuse by a stranger is quite uncommon. Over the last twenty years, the pendulum swung to the opposite extreme; if a child described sexual contact, it was considered a fact, and the volunteering of such information was considered very strong legal evidence. Recently, the pendulum has returned to a more balanced position: take it very seriously whenever a child mentions sexual contact, but understand that not everything said necessarily mirrors physical reality.

It is important to listen to your child and bring up any and all concerns to your pediatrician who can then take appropriate next steps. The best way to clarify a situation, such as you have described, is to have your child examined by a sexual abuse specialist.

Your pediatrician can also help you navigate where best to take your child for an evaluation. A sexual abuse examination is comprised of two basic elements. First, and perhaps most important, your daughter would be interviewed b y an expert who very gently elicits information from her about what might have happened.

Efforts are made to minimize the number of times a child has to tell the story and the number of people visibly present during the interview. The interviewer will let your child set the pace and may use pictures or dolls to draw her out, without suggesting to her what might have occurred. This is generally followed by a physical examination of the external genitals, checking for any sign of trauma such as bleeding, tears, or inflammation , laxity, or discharge.

Sometimes this will be done with magnification, using an instrument called a colposcope. This will be done with a chaperone and often a parent in the room in order to ensure comfort for the child.

Note that a physical examination cannot in and of itself confirm or rule out sexual abuse. In at least half of the cases of child abuse that are confessed by the abuser, there are no findings on physical exam. Hopefully, nothing significant happened to your little girl, but if my daughter came to me with the same story, I would not let the situation go uninvestigated.

The scenario you have described is the most frequent way actual sexual abuse is detected. Begin by teaching them the proper names and significance of their private parts as soon as they are able to understand about age 3. This will help to teach them that although these parts of their body are private, it is ok to talk about them and ask questions. Then they will be ready to understand and communicate what has happened to them.

Parents need to be careful about who spends time alone with their children — where and when. Parents should also be ready to listen and take seriously when their child has a question or concern. Open lines of communication are incredibly important for children in order for them to feel comfortable talking about confusing or scary experiences.

Studies have shown that the long term outcomes of children who have been abused are much better if they are believed and taken seriously at the time of disclosure. Abuse should be treated by a supportive team of experts.

Jenny C, et al. The evaluation of children in the primary care setting when sexual abuse is suspected. Finkel MA, et al. I remember he would put his hands down the back of pants. The fact that my dad denied it was so confusing for me because I didnt actually think he was doing anything wrong, i just didnt like it. Nothing ever happened and I never cuddled with my dad or mom or anyone ever again and I turned into the worst child in the family.

My relationship with my parents and my dad nowadays, 25 years later, is good. I dont know if what happened to me was sexual and i dont know if other sexual stuff had happened that i didnt remember. I need serious advice please anyone who can help…. Weeks later, I walked into the room and she was sitting down with her baby dolls face in her crotch area and she was making a sucking sound.

When I asked her was she was doing she made the sound again and then stopped. Her dad and I separated for a while shortly after that incident and were on and off for a bit but he was never alone with her and she never had issues.

She potty trained herself at 2 years old and had no accidents. Hugs from: BlueEyedMama. I was one of eight children. My brother molested me also. I was 8 years old. Both my brothers molested all 6 of us girls.

We grew up on a farm. Oddly enough when my brother died 16 years ago I cried behind the casket as they wheeled him out of the church. Don't beat yourself up over this. Life happens at a very young age to innocent people. You are not to blame. Your hormones were feeling joys that in your confusion you did not understand. Ask God to remove the self shame and distrust to others. Believe it or not boys get raped too. And more then they will ever admit. I am a survivor of incest, emotional abuse. Women all over the world almost all of us have suffered with incest and sexual abuse.

We are sisters in the sisterhood for a reason. Any time you want to talk to me you feel free. Hugs and God loves you just as you are. He does not blame us for being victims or the confusion caused by it. Hugs from: WibblyWobbly , withinwalls. Hey guys sorry for my late reply! Im feeling a lot better actually after I was finally able to cry about everything It was really weird But I felt so relieved afterwards!

Your comments helped me to not keep blaming myself for the situation, which I have been doing since it happened. I now know that he was the one being wrong and abusing my innocence. I've actually discovered something really disturbing too when I last saw him I saw it when we were all sitting on the couch together, that he sits really close to my brother like almost lying on top of him and he had an erection! I also often see him 'ride' my brother for fun and making these moaning sounds.

I have later asked my little brother about it and he responds kinda vaguely that it must be because he my older bro doesnt have enough sex and just want to be playful, which I thought was a very odd answer. I am not sure if I should ask more questions about it or even tell my own story to him, because he clearly didnt wanna talk about the subject I also think if I tell my own story, our whole family will fall apart and it just started to get a bit better between us My older brother is not happy with himself at all and tries his hardest to enjoy life again, I even feel when our stories would come out, he might actually do something bad to himself I would never get over the guilt when that would happen!

I have informed talking with a psychologists but my insurance doesnt cover it and I am still a student so have no income to pay for sessions I should have a job in February so I can start by then, but I don't know what to do until then. You can't hide the truth to protect your abuser. If telling your brother or other people about the abuse hurts the abuser's feelings, that's not your fault. You didn't create this awful truth.

He did. Remember, a simple pat is a touch that your brother can always use to show how much they love you. If you have a brother who cares and shows affection, be happy and enjoy while it lasts. You could be having a bully brother who would opt for touches rather than the harsh and painful tricks most people use.

And as you know, bullies use something annoying to put someone down. Your brother can resolve to touching to annoy you because he also enjoys. In this case, your brother might have seen how you hate his touches and want to make you suffer.

When he does this, he is always out to achieve a mission that you may not know. As a caring brother, he will always be touchy to make you feel safe. It would help if you were keen to notice the instances; he does this to be sure about, though.