Should i raise my grandchild

When the gf mom and I did speak she was always telling me that she told her daughter to kiss him to hold his hand and be more affectionate. I even overheard a conversation with the mom and g-son about he wanting to go with her when she got a wax job!!

I've told the parents my concern. My daughter is concerned and the dad sees nothing wrong. Now I've been pushed a side by the g-son and get no financial help from the father and only a few dollars here and there from my daughter.

I'm starting to get to the point that I don't care. He is an amazing athlete and the school initially granted him a hardship transfer but only for one year. Only my daughter realizes how I've turned my life upside down.

The g-son realize he is 16 has no clue nor care. What help or advice can you give me? My husband and I have been married only three years. Eight weeks after our marriage he chose to take on three mentally and emotionally challenged grandkids. Our lives have been everything but peaceful since we have had custody of his grandkids.

We got custody because of neglect and abuse from my stepson and their mother. Well I have had enough I decided I will no longer do this. The children are on all types of psych meds they steal lie threaten suicide and homicide.

They are now 8, 9, and Some may see me as selfish, however I really don't care at this point. I want to be free to enjoy my life at this point. I did not wait all these years to remarry to deal with this. Grandparents are not responsible for the decisions made by their adult children. I am 56 and my husband is I am in the process of either giving them to their parents or the system. Raising dysfunctional children at my age is not an option for me.

I am telling my story to encourage those who feel guilty about not wanting to do this. Hello my situation is similar if you could email me i would really like to talk. I have two children that passed away - my daughter passed away when her son was 16 years. I supported him but then his girlfriend had both her parents pass as well.

So I took her in as well. They are in their mid 20s. They now have a child of their own. I am supporting them - they call it helping. No rent, no help, nothing. They both have tempers and it is always my fault - one way or another. They say I helped others so why not them. They threaten to keep my great-granddaughter away from me.

I have had enough but I still worry about their future. So today I did the tough love - after a screaming match them , told them they have to leave.

I have to be strong but I worry Your grandchildren. So, I'm a single parent of a 2 year old and 4 year old. My parents watch my kids at night during my work week which can be anywhere from 3 to 5 nights a week 11pm to 7am.

My mother recently offered to keep my kids in the morning until noon so I can rest. I don't drop them off at night until bed time, so there's roughly hours where my parents would not have my children during the days I do work. I have offered to pay for their water bill, and buy food, diapers, etc. So, here's the issue. My father and I share a cell phone plan.

Try not to tap your retirement accounts to pay for grandchild expenses. Take care of yourself. Taking the parenting reins in your 50s and 60s is harder than it is in your energy-filled 20s and 30s.

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Personal Finance. Forget retirement, your grandchildren need you to raise them. Share using Email. By Kate Ashford 11th January Stepping in In the US, more than 5. The group leader, Judy Kreag, brought in a catered meal. People chatted over their food. A newcomer spoke about how, over Christmas, she and her husband had a difficult time with their grandson.

And Joe, of course, wouldn't give it to him. Others talked about their own grandchildren feeling the same way when their adult children had more children. They shared similar stories and talked about how they tried to address those emotions. Clancy said there are many similarities within the group, the issues its members face, the issues their grandchildren face and the issues their adult children face. But he also said the systems they navigate often seem very different — some have legal custody, some have to get licensed as foster homes, some are fighting their children for custody of their grandchildren, some are stepping in and raising their grandchildren until their children can get clean or sober.

Correction Feb. You make MPR News possible. Individual donations are behind the clarity in coverage from our reporters across the state, stories that connect us, and conversations that provide perspectives. And if the children have suffered from emotional neglect, trauma , or abuse, those wounds will not disappear just because they are now in a safe place.

They will need time to heal. Your grandkids may resent being separated from their parent and wish to return, even if their home situation was dangerous or abusive. The parent-child bond is powerful.

They may lash out with aggressive or inappropriate behavior , or they may withdraw and push you away. No matter their behavior, your grandkids need your comfort and support. If you start to get angry or upset, put yourself in their head.

Remember that children often act out in a safe place. When grandkids first arrive, they may be on their best behavior.

As mentioned previously, this can be a sign that they finally feel secure enough to vent their true feelings. While it will take your grandkids time to adjust to their new living arrangement, there are steps you can take to make the transition easier. Above all, your grandchildren need to feel secure. Children thrive in an environment that is stable and predictable. Establish a routine. Set a schedule for mealtimes and bedtimes. Create special rituals that you and your grandchildren can share on weekends or when getting ready for bed.

Encourage their input in their new home. Having some control will make the adjustment easier. Set clear, age-appropriate house rules and enforce them consistently. Children feel more secure when they know what to expect. Loving boundaries tell the child that he or she is safe and protected. Make sure that each grandchild has a private space. If grandchildren are sharing a bedroom, get creative: use a divider to partition off a private area in a bigger room, erect a playhouse in the backyard, or set up a tent in the family room.

Offer your time and attention. You can be a consistent, reassuring presence for your grandkids. Try to make time to interact with them at the beginning of the day, when they come home from school, and before bed. Communicating openly and honestly with your grandchildren is one of the best things you can do to help them cope with their new situation. In this difficult time, they need an adult they can go to with their questions, concerns, and feelings. Plan regular times when you sit and talk to each other, free from TV, phones, games, and other distractions.