What happens if no one likes you

You may find like-minded individuals who also share the same interests as you do. Refer back to your list if needed. But you need to have something that keeps you excited and motivated and growing. Keep trying new things until you find one that clicks. Oversharing can be off-putting, as it may make other people feel awkward or uncomfortable. To be likable, you want to balance sharing things about yourself without it seeming like you lack boundaries. To avoid oversharing, be mindful of your language.

This can help your conversation to feel balanced. These include. If you are worried about running out of things to say, we have an article devoted to how to keep a conversation going. Consider this: If that person told ten other people what you just told them, how would you feel? Everyone needs to understand social skills. For some people, these skills come more naturally. Commit to implementing these actions into your daily life.

The more you expose yourself to different social settings, the more likely you are to come across people who like you! Changing how you express yourself can feel inauthentic as if you are hiding a part of yourself to get others to like you. This builds trust and gives people time to get to know you properly. Everyone has their own degree of personal space that they require to feel comfortable. People we know and like are allowed further into our space before we feel uncomfortable. Once you know people well, this can be an asset, as physical contact and closeness are important in building and maintaining deep relationships.

Try to allow others to dictate how close or far away you are during conversations. Where possible, avoid backing someone into a corner or standing between them and the exit. It can feel like you are being asked to change something fundamental about yourself. Loud voices can be a sign of someone being excited and enthused, but it can make socializing with you more difficult.

Spending time with someone who is loud can make people tired or intimidated. Part of the volume of your voice is the result of your personal body structure but most of it seems to come from your upbringing and personality. It might be that you only speak too loudly in particularly stressful situations, for example. This might make it easier to change. Consider getting a hearing test, as poor hearing often leads people to speak too loudly.

Am I speaking a bit too loudly? It also shows the other person that you care about how you come across and how much they enjoy the conversation. Speaking more quietly will take practice. Life circumstances change, and people evolve, and relationships naturally ebb and flow. Sometimes, we try to hold onto relationships that no longer serve us.

We often do this because we want to recreate the way things used to be. Allow yourself to feel sad or angry or hurt. Nicole Arzt, M. She provides therapeutic services for individuals, couples, and families.

Notify me when someone responds to my comment. Examine whether no one likes you or if it just feels that way Change how you think about others Improve your social skills. The battle against cognitive bias. Brodrick, M. The heart and science of kindness. Harvard Health Blog. You may land in an office where everyone treats you like an intruder. Rarely does this continue after people know you and if it does, it can still be corrected?

As simple as it sounds, a smile reflects a happy soul. People may not always smile back but keep on smiling. You are not doing it for them; you are doing it for you. Studies show that a simple smile has the ability to trick your brain into happiness. Smiling triggers a chemical reaction within the brain that releases two hormones, serotonin — a hormone known for stress relief and dopamine, a hormone that is known for increasing feelings of happiness.

You minimize stress; boost your mood and your immunity and enjoy good health as a result. Compliments express kindness and they are a powerful tool for building trust. Besides, people thrive on being noticed. If you take a moment to commend their looks or acts, they will be warm towards you and most probably return the favor.

This will eventually make you stand out. It is unlikely that your colleagues are always having a good day. Spot one or two prime people and offer them help. It can be with paperwork, advice, or other menial tasks. Remember to approach them when they are a bit friendly or when they are complaining.

Offer help as if in passing, no big promises. Say, for example, sorry about the workload. If I get a moment I may offer a helping hand. Let me comfort you, most of us had it rough in school. There were bullies, arrogant class presidents, and even worse teachers. The learning methods were not as structured as they are today so chances of looking like a fool were more.

And then, there were serious punishments those days, you would be told to clean the whole classroom in the evening, serve everybody in the cafeteria or miss a meal, to mention a few. But, we went through it. Perfect that skill, learn it relentlessly and let it steal your identity. Choose to mentor fellow students on a given skill so that your talent bears more fruit.

When we are young, we fail to realize that helping others is an investment. It may not yield results immediately, but you reap in the end. Sometimes you get clarity as you train someone else, your mentees become a source of motivation or stand up for you when you least expect. Not everybody hates you, no matter how deeply you feel it. Your friends may alienate you but they are just a part of the crowd. Be neat, speak respectfully, show kindness, and carry your own stationery.

A lot of hatred in school emanates from kids not carrying enough of stationery. This makes them overly dependent on others and eventually causes friction between them.

Always be alert and arrange your bag the previous night to avoid surprises in class. Be courteous, borrow, and return after use.

This is the toughest of all. The child is still learning life skills and only needs you to acknowledge their pain and guide them in finding a solution to the problem.

This is an important skill in enabling them to develop coping mechanisms when faced with such challenges in the future. You can also use the moment to teach them empathy. Ask them, whether they notice other children being treated the same and what they think those children feel. The more we run away from reality, the harder it becomes to find a solution. You need to own that rejection and purpose to make the needful adjustments. Check out the following guides to help you or someone else deal with rejection and live a fulfilling life.

Am a graduate sociologist and a regular contributor to national publications such as the American Journal of Economics and Sociology, Journal of Applied Social Science and the Annual Review of Sociology. Needing space does not always signify there is an issue in the relationship. Partners in perfectly healthy relationships need space too. This is a time to recover, reset, and re-energize.

Space often Dreaming about someone repeatedly means that they are constantly in your subconscious mind. Skip to content. Before you go, Check out this post! This is among the most popular posts of all time Continue Reading. But instead my soul got sent here by mistake. Is that where I belong? Too much effort. I could have written that myself. This is a perfect description of my life. Everyone I meet dislikes me eventually.

I can relate to this! I know I am smart and clever, and a good sense of humour. I make friends but eventually as they get to know my vulnerabilities they lose interest, or start judging. Oh Lucie, I really sympathise. I always feel like my friends are only using me I make cakes and do them freebies. The thing is I had to shout loud in my house as my Dad and my brothers were overbearing and I was quiet and shy, I went red if anyone spoke to me and got bullied at school.

It could have stemmed from not wanting to be a victim, but not really knowing how to handle it. I am bad at getting my point across so maybe they see me as patronising and pushy and overbearing in some conversations?? I am now trying to sort myself out and bite my tongue and stop being so defensive. Could you be overbearing? I have gone through this. My own mother told me, I should have died, instead of my sister.

She died of cancer,when I got cancer. Developmental attachment trauma.. CBT is lame in that it still leaves the fear process active. Healing takes time and expertise. But I feel like my inner voice agrees with most people.

My ex was one of the most understanding people, but she left me over my problems. Most people have more going for them. Hi John, I have no clue who are you or where do you come from or what qualities you have… But I am sure of one thing…That you want to change… First of all,the way you list of your shortcomings try and list out your qualities like you have a good sense of humor or whatever..

Stop undervaluing yourself.. Agreed that your ex left you because of some problems but she came close to you because of your qualities…Understand this. Your age,job status are all circumstances in your life.

Having a great job will not make you a happy person. If you are lonely without money,trust me you will be lonely with money…But loneliness is just a state of mind..

You can be lonely in a room full of people and you can be happy alone as well. I hope it helps. You are one of a kind. God created you , for a great purpose. We are all connected. Get out of the hole you Are in and go live your life. You are loved. I read this kind of stuff over and over again but knowing it does not make the thoughts change. Trying to change the thoughts just does not work because deep inside you know you are just going through the motions.

Life shows you the reality. When you are rejected by your family even your own kids all based on false accusations how can you ever change how you feel. Feeling unloved and rejected is very real in my life and I have the proof, how can you ever change that with just words. I am ugly no one likes me. Im just a big fat ugly person, my friend told me to ask someone out, but I got rejected, because Im ugly. I loved reading this! Nothing is for sure.

It is what it is right now. I will have compassion for myself. Guys please help me.. Now a days I do lot of overthinking.. And all will be negative only. I have some insecure feelings also.. Pls advise how to come out of this. Dear Ashima, We encourage you to get support, whether through a group, a counselor or therapist. Hi Ashima, I think its right to say that i understand how u feel…if u r from india, going to a therapist also wouldnt be that easy due to social cliches.

Its difficult for me to advice something without knowing what is happening in your life right now. BUt i have been there where u r now…U feel like if only ur mind could stop thinking for a while…u pray incessantly for ur thoughts to stop but all in vain…I will just recommend u that start something which u like or u r passionate about.

Start learning guitar or anything else. Thanks for your article on the critical inner voice. Something or someone that causes harm chaos. Thank you and God Bless. Try new palces, new people, new activities, new friendes..

Get distracted from who around you, get bussy, be happy you deserve it! Where and how do you find no friends? Most people already have their friends. I was in the same boat and decided to try hobby clubs and local online forums as well as finding friends on dating sites the ones that have a platonic friendship option. This was great because I got to make memories based off of shared interests in an environment I chose before deciding if I wanted to be myself around people—but it turns out that I was already being myself because doing and talking about things I love made me come out of my shell.

Best of luck to you. Hope this helps. That was very well said. Clear, concise and so very accurate.

What I dont understand is how family and friends can be so cold…with their actions, words and lack of acceptance, validation, kindness or support, yet claim they love you. But the second you stick up for yourself, they become angry, hateful and are quick to turn the tables on you to find reasons or excuses to blame you for they way THEY act. Which further isolates you and increases your feelings of self doubt, vulnerability, lonliness and being accepted.

Its very difficult to not feel defeated and keep putting yourself out there to meet more new people when its people who ultimately cause you so much pain. Im a very generous, kind, helpful, fun, sincere, loyal person. But I will stick up for or defend myself. I do tend to get taken advantage of because I like helping people out.

But I also say no, too, so I do set boundaries. Yet, this poor treatment from others seems to be a repeating theme for me. So, what I would most like to know is, what am I doing to invite or perpetuate this dynamic with people? I truly do not understand. I relate so much to this.. I too defend myself and I set boundaries.. But my good qualities out weigh any bad ones.. I feel this way on how people treat me..

But some how fail to show their love and support.. And these days are the times when I break down.. And start the whole process again from the beginning! One thing I do know..

We enter this world alone.. We have one life! Jeanene, I could very much relate with what you said about the people that supposedly love you. My issue is with grown children. I recently changed from giving money to my grandchildren for their birthday to taking them to something of their choice, movie etc. I was told if I was going to do that, then not to bother as it was conditional and on my own terms.

Maybe it was but I just wanted to spend an hour with them. I could tell you other stories where my good intentions have been misconstrued and where I have been called selfish and all these events have left me feeling worthless. I think family can hurt you the most if you let them and I do. Thanks to everyone for all of your comments. Elizabeth, that is called verbal abuse. Either that, or you have very poor social understanding and act in a way that makes people afraid of you etc. If that is the case, you can learn.

Nobody is born with social skills, we all learn them from somewhere. Socially fluent people actually study it under a master or go to school to master their emotional intelligence skills! Elizabeth, I know exactly how you feel! It hurts deeply! No parent should ever be so mean and spiteful, but in reality it happens! These are known as Toxic people!

They are set on destruction! Please believe me when I tell you from experience, you are better than they are! You have to believe in yourself and your kids! Hold your head up high!

This is my whole life. I understand all too well and just writing this is exhausting, if anyone gets that. Does anyone get it…? I guess. Leave your mom out for a while and see how she likes it. Tell her everybody hates her see how she feels. No one deserves this. No one wants to hear me when I did try to tell. It was too late because I was already reported. No one wanted to know why I did some things.

Everybody wants to report everybody about any lil thing. No matter how others perceive you, your most important job is to figure out how you truly perceive yourself. It seems my most avid bedtime routine here lately has been, Step 1- put on PJs. Step 2- cry. I just have to keep telling myself that nobody is worth my pain, and then I can finally get some rest.

God bless Jamil. Stay strong Cora! I will try to do the same as well from now on. We have to stay strong all of us! Ok Seriously, what about when I think everything is great. Again… This as happened all my life! This is very much my story, too. I think the therapists need to concentrate less on what the victims are doing wrong and more on the people who make them victims. Many so-called psychologically healthy individuals are initiating or instigating the hatred towards people who are not as popular as they are.

Yet, the manipulative, popular person passes the litmus test because they have friends. The unpopular person, made unpopular by the actions of other people a twist on the self-fulfilling prophecy myth is left holding the bag. That has been my experience too, my whole life. In my twenties and thirties, I discovered my sibling and parents had been on vacations without me.

I love having fun. I also enjoy staying in and watching movies and taking. I would like adult company sometimes. It hurts my feelings when I find out about my family going on vacations or friends getting together but I was never included. Now I just keep to myself all the time even though I really want to be included. When I work I have no problem cutting up with people and building relationships. But it ends there.

No one talks to me outside of work or away from social media. I feel like an outcast and that no one really cares at all. These same people then have the nerve to criticize me for being depressed. And that makes me feel stupid. I feel for you , the only thing my family value about me , is that they got rid of me. I just keep studying. Think of going to town where no one knows me at the end when I graduate. Sorry you so lonely , xx Kim.

Are we the black sheep , I feel same as you ladies. I feel this same way. However thinking about it I am realizing that is where my inner critic is coming from.

All the family outings I was excluded from and the way my family makes me feel like an outcast with their words and behaviors. I am now determined to prove my inner critic wrong! I also have been considering that when I go into a situation hoping for the best and being friendly and really trying only to be left out and isolated once again…it is highly possible that I am projecting my feeling of dislike toward the new people. Thinking back on the situations it only ever seems to happen when I myself dont enjoy the particular group I am trying to be a part of.

What are the rules? This is me to a T. If I ever go to a party, its cause I invited myself. Noone tries to talk to me, seems its always me that has to make the attempt to talk to people. I know I am shy but I push myself out there. I see people avoid me. Even my own brother, hugs me when he does see me but we bought a house almost a year ago and he hasnt even seen it yet, even though hes been right up the road. My Mom is a mile away and has only been here maybe 4 times.

So much of this article explained the inner thoughts. Sexually molested as a young girl, Emotionally and physically abused also. Everybody was busy, so nobody came. I ended up feeling worse about myself in the end.

Kinda proved that inner voice right that no one liked me. My shrink says I need to go out and find nice people. I keep asking her how. I seem to have bad luck with it and just keep getting hurt.

I feel the exact same way. I smile at everyone and I go into situations feeling positive and confident- not overly- yet no one includes me in anything. I need to start being a jerk in order to dazzle people and leave some sort of lasting impression. What you wrote is almost exactly how I feel too! I am certainly not perfect, but I perceive myself as a genuine, courteous, kind, generous person with a healthy sense of humor. I love to laugh with others not at others.

I also perceive that most of the time when I attempt to interact with a group of people that I am always the one no one cares to listen too. I am careful not to dominate but if I speak even three words, someone will always interrupt me and it is as if I am just a ghost nobody notices. But I have tried being obnoxious to see if that would get me heard at least…but the reaction from the group when I do that is someone calls me out to put me in my place and I end up humiliated.

Then feel really stupid for acting obnoxious against my nature. When I simply raise my voice to be heard I feel that people are looking at me like I am some kind of freak. What about if you are really lonely and it is not only a state of mind?

There are a lot of people around me and I can get them like me if I want to. Oh I do relate to you , we try but would like to be heard too. I hear you! I am the same way. I always go out of my way to be helpful, considerate to others. I feel that is is very easy for people to abuse this strength of ours.

Cause that is how I see it, a curse, and a strength at the same time. I am currently in a rough situation after coming out of a 12yr relationship that left me completely drained and empty. Any contact that I have with them is because I initiate it. It makes me feel even more unloved. It makes me incredibly said that the only emotional outlet available to me, is one that I need to pay for You are understood, at least, by me.

Lounik, try to get away from having to lie. Remember that humans used to live in groups of or less—Imagine how few people of our age group there used to be! Now we at least have internet so you can discuss your interest in a group or something. Unfortunately it seems that the more you give to a loved one the more they take, the less you ask for the less they give to you. I know exactly how this feels. My band is Annie and My whole life I felt that there was something seriously wrong with me that everybody knew about but know one talks about.

I was never popular but had some friends. I did sports and piano too. In my team no girls ever talk to me, I was very lonely so I quit. I moved to US when I was I finished my BS in biology and got into pharmacy school and got my doctorate degree there.

People sitting next to my ask about medications from someone else and ignoring me as a drug expert. Recently our friend finish her nursing degree which is only 2 year program and all of the sudden everybody listens to her advise and completely ignoring me. Sometimes it brings a teat to my eyes. I know and feel very competent and my decisions always been excellent in my career but somehow people just ignore me.

I always have negative thoughts and visions and always imagine the worse. I have been devolved for 6 years and no one asked me out. People sometimes think me and my 13 year old daughter ate sisters. I try to read and educate myself, increase my self esteem, be positive but nothing changes in my life. I cry sometimes because I feel very very lonely insight. I try very hard to please everybody all the time.

I take my parents and my daughter to Europe every year for vacation, I put my daughter to private school since she was pre-schooler , I try to surprise my family with nice gifts but inside I feel very empty. There is nothing in my life that gives me back something.

My parents do their best for me, help me with my daughter and give me love but I still feel very empty. I think not being able to meet any guy who would show an interest in my really bothers me a lot. When I go to parties or professional mixers I stay completely invisible. I already tried auto suggestion that I am pretty and smart and well deserved but the reality shows me something very different. Annie, My heart breaks for you as I read your words. I was struck by the eighteenth sentence you wrote above — if that is true, you might be interested in this article about the scientifically-supported study of positive emotions and thought, and your power over creating them.

Good luck and much love. Please know that you DO make a difference in this world…. I just recently moved away from home and started college. It is the end of my first semester away at college and I feel very very lonely, anxious, and depressed.

Being in a whole new surrounding with new people makes me anxious and also makes me realize that I have had this inner voice my whole life. I would say that your greatness is hard for the average person to be around, and, although unintentional, you surface their deepest insecurities. When they compare themselves to you, they feel bad about themselves, which makes you feel bad about yourself. Makes sense? Thank you for your kinds thought however I am afraid those are not true. I have tried every kind of literature and outogussestion but I feel nothing is helping me how I feel.

Again, I would like to thank you for your thoughts and hope one day I will figure out what is wrong with me. Accepting yourself as normal human who like to be part of human community, there is no shame in showing interests, even when it misfires. You know the nerdy king, the engineers and computer scientists. There are lots of people who gravitate toward each other for reasons that may be mysterious even to themselves.

Lastly, check out with a psychologist if you can afford it for a few hundred bucks, if it really bothers you why you are seen invisible. I really appreciate your advise and recommendations. I think you are absolutely right about me trying hard. I try hard meeting people, I try hard pleasing people.

Thanks again. You may look so confident that people are afraid to approach you. Could this be the case? Annie: I was you. You must dedicate your life to change. Inner work comes first. You are not the opinions of others. Happiness is mostly a choice. There are endless battles to be fought, and many people quit after just losing one. Persistence is key. You can reprogram habits and better perspectives into your mind within several months.

When I had enough, and dedicated every single moment, right now, to being in control of my thoughts and emotions, I started seeing real results. My depression and social anxiety is normal now. I am much healthier in ever aspect because I do the work to get that health..

I welcome challenges. I found peace and self-love.. I am still invisible. I never fit in with those people anyway. But I am a human like everyone else, and although introverted, I do enjoy the company of others at times. That is normal.

So I understand the frustration. Human beings get really out of whack when it comes to seeking social worth, but in the end, as valuable as it can be, it is still an illusion. You decide your worth. You must learn to be a warrior of life and enjoy it, and you can, but you have to dig deep down and do a lot of introspection. Sounds like you put a lot of your worth into the opinions of your parents, comparing yourself to your brother, and mixed with a lot of real or delusion when it comes to the opinions of others.

Understand deep in your soul: you are not the opinions of others. Put on a happy song, think back to one of your happier times.. Use it every day for the rest of your life. Thank you so much John! I deeply appreciate your thoughts and it made a lots of sense to me.

Thanks again! The hole in your life might be filled with His love. I love the Lord. Amen Mike! God Bless you for saying that. I feel that everyone I am around family included tries to bring me down. I have constant hate from my family. They call me lazy, selfish, etc. You are not the opinions of others, even your parents. I really relate to it. But I just dont know how to keep that momentum going once it starts to work. Eventually my mood just shifts and throws me off track, and i spiral down again.

I feel like people tend to seek friendship with other who have a crowd around them. My loneliness is working against my chances finding friends. Oh hi Fred , I understand , it really sucks hey , really hurts.

Makes it easier to tell the truth of how things are not so good for us , instead of pretending. Thanks again for your touching post , Kim. Im actually surprised how many people feel the way i do. Once in a while i feel good for no reason, and i just accept it and savor those moments. I look forward to reading more and learning how to silence the negative self hatred.

Remember how people at school would gather around a victim and bully them? How everyone snubbed the unfortunate person because it was uncool to befriend them? Well these same people grew up to become the adults of today. They carried the same nagative values into adult life, the same mental idea that it is okay to tread on other people to remain popular, to reach the top — and that is exactly where they are! I was one of those victims. Take a step back and consider modern behaviour in adults today: A spoiled generation who care little about everything from environmental destruction to the well-being of their own children.

A throw-away age that also includes people. In fact, I think they should change. No man wants to stay with me, despite all my efforts. They seem to b crazy about me and then all of a sudden..

The wicked thought am going to die lonely and afraid keeps reoccurring!! This article does an admirably accurate job describing how awful this experience feels emotionally. To me, this makes a lot more organic sense than doing battle with ourselves.

Most of us have had enough of that— and these aspects are trying to help us, not hurt us. My mother died 3 years ago and I have no contact with my father. I have very few friends and am becoming so lonely I just wish life would hurry up and end. I work full time and even though my manager and team mates always praise me I feel excluded and different and the more lonely I become the more difficult I find it to talk to people.

I spend most weekends alone in the house. I have borderline personality disorder and the voice has completely taken over. It keeps me inside a lot of the time and I have no opportunities to make friends. Hope you get to come and read this. Hope you and the baby is going well. What caught my attention most about your comment is when you talk about losing your personality because I have been there.

I suffer from loneliness as well but feel that I am getting better over the years. I am getting much better but still battle with these emotions and feel that God Is showing me that I will never truly find happiness trying to relate to people.

I have lived by myself twice and which people and in all my cases this feeling of loneliness never died. Now I am about to live on my own again and I am prepping myself to deal with the thoughts of loneliness that I know that I will feel. Just recently after all these years of my father not being in my life I just found out that he committed suicide a couple of years back and it has also made me deal with myself a lot because many years of negative through will take you to a very bad place.

I refuses to let the devil get in that much and it will always start with people. While I do believe that we can find truly loving worth while people and connections in life it can take a life time and depends on the quality of selection. I am still healing and moving foward and still a lot if defeating thoughts of not being liked or feeling alone but I do put more effect of talking myself off of the ledge.