[About Me] Why I Quit My Corporate Job and Started Creating Art

Introduction

As a way of introducing myself, I’d like to write about

“why I left my corporate job and started creating art.”

I’m currently 48 years old,

and the first time I made something that could be called “art-like” was at 43.

That’s extremely late.

It wasn’t born from an excited feeling of

“I want to do this!”

Instead, it started as something more urgent—almost like I was being pushed into it:

“I can’t hold myself together unless I release what’s inside me through expression.”

And so, I began.

I Was Working Hard, But I Was on the Wrong Track

After graduating from university, I worked as a company employee for over 20 years.

I believe that life is about doing what you want to do,

so I worked extremely hard to turn what I wanted into my job.

And finally, by the time I turned 30,

I had a job where I was satisfied with the work itself, the workplace environment, relationships, and salary.

But as I approached 40, I clearly realized something:

“I chose the wrong track.”

It was a devastating shock.

Because I had worked myself to the bone to get there.

And I had finally reached what I thought was the place I had been aiming for.

In reality, though, I had been hearing a faint voice for more than five years before I clearly recognized it.

But at that time, given the social expectations in Japan,

I believed that another career change was absolutely impossible.

I also felt guilty toward my parents, who had already worried about me so much.

And I was also conscious of my age in terms of having children.

So I pretended not to hear that voice, and continued living.

Still, that voice gradually grew stronger.

In order to explore the possibility of “what if,”

I began challenging myself more than ever before—both in work and in my personal life.

Anything that even slightly felt like “I want to try this,” I went for it.

But as I kept trying things, I ended up thinking:

“Not this… not this either… still not this… none of this…”

I fell into despair, wondering what on earth I actually was looking for.

Maybe I was just being greedy, always wanting something I didn’t have.

Maybe I was simply suffering from a kind of endless dissatisfaction.

I thought about that often.

But no matter how much I thought, the only answer I could reach was:

“This is not it.”

No matter what I did, I couldn’t shake the sense of lack inside me.

Eventually, I had no choice but to accept it:

“I chose the wrong track.”

But even after admitting that, I still didn’t know:

If so, what is the right track for me?

Searching for My Track — What I Finally Found

“If I don’t know, then I have to move.”

So I kept moving, again and again.

I dragged myself forward through life.

It was exhausting.

But within all of that, there was one thing I became completely absorbed in:

Art.

There was something that rose from within me that made me feel I had no choice but to do it.

When I was creating, I would fall into an intense state of immersion—

a feeling where I couldn’t even stop myself.

I could clearly feel that it was different from everything else.

But I convinced myself:

“This is just a hobby.”

Because I believed becoming an artist was one of the hardest things in the world.

And above all, I was raised by “ordinary” parents who taught me that being ordinary is best.

So becoming an artist was something I could not even consider seriously.

And so I kept running away. Over and over.

But no matter how much I tried to escape,

it felt as if my whole body was gently lifted up,

and then firmly pressed back down onto the ground:

“This is where you belong. Stop resisting.”

Completely exhausted, I finally gave in.

And then I realized:

“There is no such thing as a track.”

“What I truly wanted was never something that had a fixed path in the first place.”

After a long, long detour filled with confusion and exhaustion,

I finally came to recognize it:

What I truly want is to express myself through art.

And I was finally able to give myself permission to acknowledge that.

Why It Has to Be Art

I have always loved art.

But I always saw myself only as a viewer—

I never once imagined becoming someone who creates it.

Looking back, I think I had been unconsciously avoiding it all along.

Because I believed that making a living as an artist is one of the hardest things in the world.

But the more I created art,

the more I felt something inside me connecting—like dots from my childhood experiences, interests, and curiosities were naturally linking together.

It was a feeling I had never experienced before.

I finally realized:

“This is the place I’ve been searching for.”

When I first started seriously thinking about my career during job hunting,

I asked myself:

“What do I truly want to do?”

Since then, I have questioned it endlessly—through jobs, through career changes, through effort after effort.

And the answer was here all along.

From that point on, I began living in deep dialogue with myself and my expression.

That said, I am still simply making art.

I do not yet have any achievements that would allow me to call myself an “artist.”

For the past three years, I have been exploring in depth:

What do I actually want to express?

And how do I want to express it?

After continuously experimenting and diving deep,

I finally feel that I have reached a minimum foundation within myself.

So I decided it was time to step outside and begin writing this blog.

Because my creative process is somewhat unconventional,

I honestly still don’t know how I will ever turn my work into income, and that makes me anxious.

But I decided that first, I want people to get to know me.

I would like to write slowly about my works, my life so far,

and various other things as well.

Thank you for reading.

June 14, 2026

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