No.11 Let it go or swimming among the memory

"When you were standing in the wake of devastation,
When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown,
And with the cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now,
You were there impossibly alone."

--"Iridescent", Linkin Park

Recently, I met lots of trouble, I feel.

Draggy partner of assignment, coming online courses, and terrible social skill.

Two weeks ago, my lovely partner and I chose a poem for the assignment, and the deadline was after one week, I thought I, we, can finish this assignment very early.

However!

Unfortunately, my partner is soooooo draggy, I waited for him for couple of time. Now due to the virus, we cannot meet together to make video, we will meet online and record it. I tried, I tried to call him and wake him up ( what I've done? I hate this version of myself, call someone waking up because of the damn assignment!) ! Oh the love of god! Just...finish this assignment as fast as I can!

Well for the coming online courses, what I can do is that, try my best to adjust it in a shorter time. Well I hope at that time, the Wifi can work well, bless me!

Terrible social skill...I feel that I am good at talking with people in a very embarrassing way. Yes, EMBARRASSING. I don't know how to improve that...so sad. I want to chat with people in a very nice and not bothering condition. Well so far it seems so impossible. Also, I always could not catch what people talk about, and misunderstand others...

All the trouble I've met so far let me remind my high school life again and again. I miss the high school because at that time, I just needed to worry about the hard courses, I like the academic challenge hahaha. Although during the high school I cried for my poor marks, the life sounded hard, I was so excited about the new knowledge everyday! I could suddenly feel energic because of he new knowledge. Everyday I was so busy because of the exploration of study. 

Well now in here, since academic stress is not so heavy, so I tried to make friends. Well I felt that I did not want to be talktive actually after so many communication. I felt that I could not hear the voice inside my heart so much, I lost my own voice, but I want to make friends a little bit. Such a big conflict!

Well we always need to look forward the future, so now, for me, let it go and keep walking or losing in the dream of the past?

"To be or not to be, that's the question."

"Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope but failure's all you've known,
Remember all the sadness and frustration,
And let it go...

Let it go..."

--"Iridescent", Linkin Park